Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Fear of Expansion March 16, 2010

So it seems everything going on with me these days is about connection. Working on the course Calling In The One, to connect with a physical partner on an enlightened level, working in meditation and with my spiritual therapists to connect with my spirit guides; thinking about Jan Frazier’s material about allowing connection with who I really am, this immense being of light manifestation.
Well, duh!!! Isn’t this what life is all about? Didn't we come here to connect because the only way to learn is to connect? Our brain works this way. We learn by connecting new information to old information, building on the experience or information we already have. This is why good teachers start with what their students already know or work on making a personal connection with the material. It is difficult to grasp something that does not fit in your own experience.
So my reading today is how to connect to that part of me that has no fear and know they can manifest with out my world falling apart. I am speaking of remodeling my garage. A very earthly matter but this seemingly huge project triggers all my fears of wasting and losing all my money and also the fear of huge success. What a paradox! Do you get it? I am expanding and it scares the hell out of me. Remodeling my garage connects with all the that I am working with right now. Creating a classroom for my tarot groups and for other healers, creating a master bedroom to make space for a partner, or for income for more abundance, and a green house for my garden. All projects dear to my heart that will expand and magnify my world and what is holding me back.? Fear FEAR! I even have the money sitting in a bank. But that is the money I am drawing on to supplement my very small pension. That is the money that is enabling me to study and immerse myself into the tarot and create lessons and workshops, This is the money that is buying me the time to create my future. but as Jan Frazier might say. What about the present and how can you create your future by sitting and worrying.
S o that will be my question: How can I create my future without sabotaging myself with reasons why not and fear?
Thoth Deck
Significator: What is this remodeling issue really about?: Princess of Cups Bringing my Soul essence to Earth. The princess has opened her heart to all possibilities. She trusts. This about me trusting the Universe. Trust in my guidance Trust in doing what my hearts desires. Opening to myself. OK What next

Let’s look at all my fears or a few of them.
I will spend all my money and then for some reason it will all fall apart .i.e. A. an earthquake, or B. the money will disappear from a bank failure C. my tarot business will never get to the point of bringing in enough money to supplement my pension and I will end up old and broke or D. my son will need a large sum of money for some important reason and I will have spent it on myself.

This is good to actually name the fears. A card for each one.
Ten of Swords: A mind fuck. Nothing to do with early matters. This comforts me.
Seven of cups: delusional, debauch of feelings. Again nothing to do with reality on any level spiritual or material
Three of Cups; Abundance! Celebrate all the abundance you have, for God’s Sake!!! If I celebrate what I have I will never be without.
The Fool: My son is starting an amazing journey. Money is not his goal. He is naturally abundant, just like me.

Whew this is so affirming!!! Amazing! Thank you cards.
OK So let’s look at what I can do to A. make this process easy, B. allow it to happen in it’s own time and C. melt away resistance

Ace of Wands: BE EXCITED!!! Revved up.! Creative! Intuitive!

Six of Wands: Know that it will happen perfectly. That all will fall in place. That this is part of my destiny. Enough people have told me this. Believe it.

The Moon: Allow the mystery of how this will all happen. take the path of initiation and all that this process will teach me.

A card for the contractor coming today that I am checking out.
The Magician: What a great card for a contractor; talent communicated on all levels and I will be asked to communicate clearly on all levels.

A card for Frank, my friend, that I am hiring to hold my hand.
Three of cups. He will make this fun and keep me in appreciation.

A card for advice from the Universe.
The Hermit You are building your Hermit house, your place of enlightenment. your place to search and teach about what you find, your place where you can lead others within. A place of love incarnate.

Next step, Print this out and look at every day.

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