I have not made a post in days, months but I am now visiting my son's blog on a regular basis. He is in Chile and it's a wonderful way to see what he is up to. I, on the other hand, was using my blog to attract readers to my tarot website and I need to rethink this idea.
In the beginning I was truly writing about my insights regularly, now I think I am a bit depressed, my energy is static. I know much of it is that I am lonely, not unhappy lonely, but isolated, living alone and not having daily human contact with someone I love very much. Of course, I also realize I am using this as an excuse because I am also reaching for a place of being where it doesn't matter who or what i am doing, that I will always be energized. Alas I am far from this place.
Time for a tarot reading. Time to kick my ass. I am frustrated with myself because I have it all. I am not starving. I have a beautiful home, great friends, all this free time to be in my garden, read, do what I want, but what am I doing? Marinating? Perhaps. That's what I would like to think. (-:
This is good. I am already feeling better. Maybe I just need to sit and write everyday about nothing in particular. I know it's a way to work one out of a funk. I tell people this all the time. Like many counselors, I rarely follow my own advice.
So I have a great new, though old to some, tarot book. Tarot of the Spirit, Pamela Eakins. Great insights. I love a PhD view of the tarot.
So then I had to get the deck. So let's see what this deck says is going on with me.
Using one of Eakins spreads
Significator: Six of Pentacles Every thing is great! This is hilarious. Eakins talks about relaxing, surrendering to float suspended taking refuge in peace. Here i am going into my Hanged Man year in peace and harmony , no drama or stress and I am freaked out! Wow. In resistance is more like it.
Aspect of least control: Princess of Swords or Sister of Winds Thinking my way through all of this. I have slashed my way through the mind; it's time to start applying what I have learned; Quit trying to figure it out.
Aspect of Most control: The Lovers Eeeeek! at first glance this is where i feel I have the least control. Let's see what Eakins says:"You recognize that you are lonely" oh, my. "at the same time you realize that without separation, there can be no connection or demonstration of love" Yeh, the self love thing. the inner marriage KNowing that I am simultaneously united and separated. I need to accept this for inner happiness. and yes, I have control over this. sigh...
What influence is leaving (8 of pentacles) to be replaced by?(The Emperor)
taking my work up another level. I am aware and hopeful that this can happen in my next round of classes. This is what I am asking for. need to take in that aspect of me that is not so sure, The Lovers and create that confidence to let it all hang out. It is time to truly come into service. I have worked hard, nurtured myself and of course the Emperor is about form and the physical plane so this relates to what I am building in my back yard. My spiritual class room. I am sacrificing to a higher good to be a "window of light in the darkness" Ay Yieee!. Oh the resistance. I want excitement, movement, growth but at the same time I want exactly what I have, peace and no stress. Never satisfied!!!
My past: Four of Fire: Staying in my comfort zone, having created my structure, now it's time to put it to work.
My future: Four of Water Oh,dear. Let's see what Eakins says. the need to change to regain balance. I think I am already living this future. "outgrowing a period of contentment. I am bursting at the seams need a new "vison of love" Simplify. Pare down needs and expectations, pare down stimuli to hear the voice of higher will
Outcome at this point: Karma, 11, Justice, Cosmic Justice. Oh, boy. Karma says it all. I am clearing and paying for my past and it fits in with going into my hanged man year. I am coming out of my Karma year also. I am looking for something happy here. The challenge is happiness anyway.
This is my new favorite deck and book. This will fit well with the Tree of life study and is based on Crowley's deck more than the Waite smith. A good deck for the 21st century picked up at a used book store. Love it. Now go ahead and post it, Carolyn
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Tree of Life
In my ongoing study of the tarot I am looking at the oldest connection to the tarot, the Kabalistic Tree of Life, which symbolizes the creation of the Universe in the mystical Jewish tradition and shows the path to a universal awakening.
If you do any type of research on the tarot, read tarot blogs and books you will see the Qabala, or Kabbalah or the Caballa mentioned in connection with the tarot. All three spellings pertain to a different approach to this aspect of Jewish mysticism. I will say right out that I am only skimming the surface with this study and I welcome comments, arguments etc. But my idea is that by writing about my study that I can begin to grasp these concepts.
I am not going to attempt to explain the Tree of Life here. There are hundreds of sites where you can get this information. What I want to begin to explain is the Tree’s connection to the tarot and why a basic understanding of this connection is needed to finally take the tarot into the 21st century.
The tarot of today is about enlightenment, about how to navigate the great changes coming our way. The tarot as connected to the Tree of Life can show us how we can ride these waves of transformation to a universal consciousness.
Both the Waite-Smith decks and especially the Crowley/Harris decks, the two most influential decks in the last hundred years, use the Qabalistic forces of the Tree of Life as a blueprint for their decks.
Currently I am studying the Qabala’s Tree of Life with my tarot circle. After a preliminary study of the Tree itself, we are going backwards, starting at the top and working our way down the tree in order to connect it to the tarot numbering. We are now at the sephirah, Chesed, and the Tarot fours which are also influenced by the Emperor. Since I have given no previous information about the Qabala or the Tree of life, this is a very self centered writing, but I encourage you to keep reading because I hope by trying to explain to you as simply as possible, that I will begin to grasp the information myself.
So how are the tarot fours influenced by the Qabala Tree of Life? The fours sit in the position or sephirah of Chesed in the left hand column, an extreme position only balanced by the opposite sephirah or position of Geburah where the fives sit. As I begin to understand the two extremes of Chesed and Geburah, I begin to get why the fours are so lethargic and controlling, while the fives feel frighteningly out of control. On the Tree of Life, the position of Chesed is an extreme of mercy and goodness, lovingkindness to the point of almost too much which is well illustrated in the Waite Smith deck when you look at the uncomfortable positions of the people in the fours. Even though all seems to be well, we see lots of cups, maybe more than we can handle; pentacles on our head and under our feet; the mind at peace with the swords and seeming sucess and stability with the wands; but there is an uneasiness there because as with all the cards, change is in the air. The situation seems to be all right, but change is coming because the life force is moving swiftly and what may seem to be solid in the fours will shift dramatically in the fives to conflict and loss. Look at the watchfulness in the Waite Smith four of cups card, as though the person is thinking, “This is too good to be true, it can’t continue” and the resting in the four of swords which the person knows is only a respite. It’s like in our daily lives when we feel it’s all going so well, too well. That though it seems absurd, we are out of balance on some level, that life is not about smooth sailing but about the challenge, and the goal to find joy and peace in what seem to be a flashing back and forth of extremes as seen clearly with the flashing movement of insight in the Tree of Life. The path in the Tree shows the quick movement that balances the fours with the opposite position of severity and judgment in Geburah, but the Tree as a whole shows the path to integration and wholeness. Sound familiar? This is exactly what the tarot images show us. The Tree of Life and the tarot look at life as a whole, not dwelling so much on the ups and downs but more on the path at hand, the centering needed to sail through the extremes which we cannot escape from but if viewed as needed, as a part of the journey to completeness, can then be seen as a positive influence, a lesson which will take us to a higher level of consciousness.
If you do any type of research on the tarot, read tarot blogs and books you will see the Qabala, or Kabbalah or the Caballa mentioned in connection with the tarot. All three spellings pertain to a different approach to this aspect of Jewish mysticism. I will say right out that I am only skimming the surface with this study and I welcome comments, arguments etc. But my idea is that by writing about my study that I can begin to grasp these concepts.
I am not going to attempt to explain the Tree of Life here. There are hundreds of sites where you can get this information. What I want to begin to explain is the Tree’s connection to the tarot and why a basic understanding of this connection is needed to finally take the tarot into the 21st century.
The tarot of today is about enlightenment, about how to navigate the great changes coming our way. The tarot as connected to the Tree of Life can show us how we can ride these waves of transformation to a universal consciousness.
Both the Waite-Smith decks and especially the Crowley/Harris decks, the two most influential decks in the last hundred years, use the Qabalistic forces of the Tree of Life as a blueprint for their decks.
Currently I am studying the Qabala’s Tree of Life with my tarot circle. After a preliminary study of the Tree itself, we are going backwards, starting at the top and working our way down the tree in order to connect it to the tarot numbering. We are now at the sephirah, Chesed, and the Tarot fours which are also influenced by the Emperor. Since I have given no previous information about the Qabala or the Tree of life, this is a very self centered writing, but I encourage you to keep reading because I hope by trying to explain to you as simply as possible, that I will begin to grasp the information myself.
So how are the tarot fours influenced by the Qabala Tree of Life? The fours sit in the position or sephirah of Chesed in the left hand column, an extreme position only balanced by the opposite sephirah or position of Geburah where the fives sit. As I begin to understand the two extremes of Chesed and Geburah, I begin to get why the fours are so lethargic and controlling, while the fives feel frighteningly out of control. On the Tree of Life, the position of Chesed is an extreme of mercy and goodness, lovingkindness to the point of almost too much which is well illustrated in the Waite Smith deck when you look at the uncomfortable positions of the people in the fours. Even though all seems to be well, we see lots of cups, maybe more than we can handle; pentacles on our head and under our feet; the mind at peace with the swords and seeming sucess and stability with the wands; but there is an uneasiness there because as with all the cards, change is in the air. The situation seems to be all right, but change is coming because the life force is moving swiftly and what may seem to be solid in the fours will shift dramatically in the fives to conflict and loss. Look at the watchfulness in the Waite Smith four of cups card, as though the person is thinking, “This is too good to be true, it can’t continue” and the resting in the four of swords which the person knows is only a respite. It’s like in our daily lives when we feel it’s all going so well, too well. That though it seems absurd, we are out of balance on some level, that life is not about smooth sailing but about the challenge, and the goal to find joy and peace in what seem to be a flashing back and forth of extremes as seen clearly with the flashing movement of insight in the Tree of Life. The path in the Tree shows the quick movement that balances the fours with the opposite position of severity and judgment in Geburah, but the Tree as a whole shows the path to integration and wholeness. Sound familiar? This is exactly what the tarot images show us. The Tree of Life and the tarot look at life as a whole, not dwelling so much on the ups and downs but more on the path at hand, the centering needed to sail through the extremes which we cannot escape from but if viewed as needed, as a part of the journey to completeness, can then be seen as a positive influence, a lesson which will take us to a higher level of consciousness.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Path of the Evolutionary April 30, 2010
Determined to get an entry in April, I want share the changes I am experiences with how I look at the path of tarot these days.
, I have found a name for what I am doing, a name for the voice within that drives me forward, My Fool: the evolutionary impulse. TaDa!!!! And what the hell does that mean? though many of you may say, “Well, duh!” It’s the Fool that impulsively leaps off the cliff! Pulled by this urge to evolve... But what has happened for me is that I am getting this on a much clearer basis. I have been giving the words I longed for to describe what I believe I truly am: a being on the evolutionary edge of the ever expanding consciousness we call God, Source, the Mystery, the Great Spirit; that you and I are a product of Curiosity, of Will, of Desire, the end product of an awakening of Source long ago, a vast Energy driven to experience on an ever faster, more expansive level ever since the Big Bang. The most amazing aspect of all this is that we are now at the point where many of us have become aware that this is who we are and now realize we can actually steer this energy into a positive direction because we are this energy, as an individual, a tiny speck, but if all the tiny specks awaken to the same idea????
Is this arrogance?? I think not. It would be arrogant to think that we actually were separate from the vast energy surrounding us, arrogant to think we are living a separate life from the rest of the universe and from every living being on earth. One cannot be arrogant and be the evolutionary impulse. Arrogance is only the ego living in fear. When you start to think this big... well I will stop here because... because... I just have to take the time to let this concept pervade my thinking and see what happens.
, I have found a name for what I am doing, a name for the voice within that drives me forward, My Fool: the evolutionary impulse. TaDa!!!! And what the hell does that mean? though many of you may say, “Well, duh!” It’s the Fool that impulsively leaps off the cliff! Pulled by this urge to evolve... But what has happened for me is that I am getting this on a much clearer basis. I have been giving the words I longed for to describe what I believe I truly am: a being on the evolutionary edge of the ever expanding consciousness we call God, Source, the Mystery, the Great Spirit; that you and I are a product of Curiosity, of Will, of Desire, the end product of an awakening of Source long ago, a vast Energy driven to experience on an ever faster, more expansive level ever since the Big Bang. The most amazing aspect of all this is that we are now at the point where many of us have become aware that this is who we are and now realize we can actually steer this energy into a positive direction because we are this energy, as an individual, a tiny speck, but if all the tiny specks awaken to the same idea????
Is this arrogance?? I think not. It would be arrogant to think that we actually were separate from the vast energy surrounding us, arrogant to think we are living a separate life from the rest of the universe and from every living being on earth. One cannot be arrogant and be the evolutionary impulse. Arrogance is only the ego living in fear. When you start to think this big... well I will stop here because... because... I just have to take the time to let this concept pervade my thinking and see what happens.
Word of the Day:Joy March 16, 2010
I woke up late this morning, berated myself, stumbled around and then sat in meditation and thought of natural disasters; the upcoming 9.5 earthquake that will affect Humboldt County, we just don’t know when. Spent 10 minutes probably ruminating on this; what I would do, how to protect myself, talked to my guides, talked to Gaia. Got all sorts of information that I didn’t believe because I was so not in Well Being. OMG And I was down on myself because I was down on my self and the vicious circle of circling in my kitchen and nothing gets done and then...
Looking out my kitchen window, I see my next rhododendron in bloom. The one with red blossoms is done and now the pink one with a deep rose center is blooming and I am OOHH how lucky I am to have this beauty right outside my window . These great rhododendron trees will survive and suddenly I am in joy, in gratitude. It’s like I finally wake up and can start my day. Choose joy Choose Well being Divert my thoughts. But sometimes the mind is so strong I don’t even remember to think like this. It’s like some other creature has taken over my brain.
Negativity is such an old, old habit. I was listening to New Dimensions the other night on the radio and a doctor scientist was saying that he thought we had evolved as negative beings because the ones that worried, that were always looking for the wolves, the other guy, hoarding their food, were the ones who survived while the happy passive types were eaten. May be true but not needed any more!!!!
So what does the tarot have to say about all this. What is my message from the universe today? And why do I forget to go to my cards when I feel this dark cloud overcoming me!!!
Hierophant : Stay contained within the stream emanating from the universal light beings Think vertical instead of in a linear fashion. Think what is rather than what will be. What will be does not exist in light. You are light. Be in you . Use this discipline of light to keep you from leaking into the dark places of what might be. The dark is always available and this is what sends you to the light. So all is good.
Thank you Thank you Thank you
Looking out my kitchen window, I see my next rhododendron in bloom. The one with red blossoms is done and now the pink one with a deep rose center is blooming and I am OOHH how lucky I am to have this beauty right outside my window . These great rhododendron trees will survive and suddenly I am in joy, in gratitude. It’s like I finally wake up and can start my day. Choose joy Choose Well being Divert my thoughts. But sometimes the mind is so strong I don’t even remember to think like this. It’s like some other creature has taken over my brain.
Negativity is such an old, old habit. I was listening to New Dimensions the other night on the radio and a doctor scientist was saying that he thought we had evolved as negative beings because the ones that worried, that were always looking for the wolves, the other guy, hoarding their food, were the ones who survived while the happy passive types were eaten. May be true but not needed any more!!!!
So what does the tarot have to say about all this. What is my message from the universe today? And why do I forget to go to my cards when I feel this dark cloud overcoming me!!!
Hierophant : Stay contained within the stream emanating from the universal light beings Think vertical instead of in a linear fashion. Think what is rather than what will be. What will be does not exist in light. You are light. Be in you . Use this discipline of light to keep you from leaking into the dark places of what might be. The dark is always available and this is what sends you to the light. So all is good.
Thank you Thank you Thank you
Fear of Expansion March 16, 2010
So it seems everything going on with me these days is about connection. Working on the course Calling In The One, to connect with a physical partner on an enlightened level, working in meditation and with my spiritual therapists to connect with my spirit guides; thinking about Jan Frazier’s material about allowing connection with who I really am, this immense being of light manifestation.
Well, duh!!! Isn’t this what life is all about? Didn't we come here to connect because the only way to learn is to connect? Our brain works this way. We learn by connecting new information to old information, building on the experience or information we already have. This is why good teachers start with what their students already know or work on making a personal connection with the material. It is difficult to grasp something that does not fit in your own experience.
So my reading today is how to connect to that part of me that has no fear and know they can manifest with out my world falling apart. I am speaking of remodeling my garage. A very earthly matter but this seemingly huge project triggers all my fears of wasting and losing all my money and also the fear of huge success. What a paradox! Do you get it? I am expanding and it scares the hell out of me. Remodeling my garage connects with all the that I am working with right now. Creating a classroom for my tarot groups and for other healers, creating a master bedroom to make space for a partner, or for income for more abundance, and a green house for my garden. All projects dear to my heart that will expand and magnify my world and what is holding me back.? Fear FEAR! I even have the money sitting in a bank. But that is the money I am drawing on to supplement my very small pension. That is the money that is enabling me to study and immerse myself into the tarot and create lessons and workshops, This is the money that is buying me the time to create my future. but as Jan Frazier might say. What about the present and how can you create your future by sitting and worrying.
S o that will be my question: How can I create my future without sabotaging myself with reasons why not and fear?
Thoth Deck
Significator: What is this remodeling issue really about?: Princess of Cups Bringing my Soul essence to Earth. The princess has opened her heart to all possibilities. She trusts. This about me trusting the Universe. Trust in my guidance Trust in doing what my hearts desires. Opening to myself. OK What next
Let’s look at all my fears or a few of them.
I will spend all my money and then for some reason it will all fall apart .i.e. A. an earthquake, or B. the money will disappear from a bank failure C. my tarot business will never get to the point of bringing in enough money to supplement my pension and I will end up old and broke or D. my son will need a large sum of money for some important reason and I will have spent it on myself.
This is good to actually name the fears. A card for each one.
Ten of Swords: A mind fuck. Nothing to do with early matters. This comforts me.
Seven of cups: delusional, debauch of feelings. Again nothing to do with reality on any level spiritual or material
Three of Cups; Abundance! Celebrate all the abundance you have, for God’s Sake!!! If I celebrate what I have I will never be without.
The Fool: My son is starting an amazing journey. Money is not his goal. He is naturally abundant, just like me.
Whew this is so affirming!!! Amazing! Thank you cards.
OK So let’s look at what I can do to A. make this process easy, B. allow it to happen in it’s own time and C. melt away resistance
Ace of Wands: BE EXCITED!!! Revved up.! Creative! Intuitive!
Six of Wands: Know that it will happen perfectly. That all will fall in place. That this is part of my destiny. Enough people have told me this. Believe it.
The Moon: Allow the mystery of how this will all happen. take the path of initiation and all that this process will teach me.
A card for the contractor coming today that I am checking out.
The Magician: What a great card for a contractor; talent communicated on all levels and I will be asked to communicate clearly on all levels.
A card for Frank, my friend, that I am hiring to hold my hand.
Three of cups. He will make this fun and keep me in appreciation.
A card for advice from the Universe.
The Hermit You are building your Hermit house, your place of enlightenment. your place to search and teach about what you find, your place where you can lead others within. A place of love incarnate.
Next step, Print this out and look at every day.
Well, duh!!! Isn’t this what life is all about? Didn't we come here to connect because the only way to learn is to connect? Our brain works this way. We learn by connecting new information to old information, building on the experience or information we already have. This is why good teachers start with what their students already know or work on making a personal connection with the material. It is difficult to grasp something that does not fit in your own experience.
So my reading today is how to connect to that part of me that has no fear and know they can manifest with out my world falling apart. I am speaking of remodeling my garage. A very earthly matter but this seemingly huge project triggers all my fears of wasting and losing all my money and also the fear of huge success. What a paradox! Do you get it? I am expanding and it scares the hell out of me. Remodeling my garage connects with all the that I am working with right now. Creating a classroom for my tarot groups and for other healers, creating a master bedroom to make space for a partner, or for income for more abundance, and a green house for my garden. All projects dear to my heart that will expand and magnify my world and what is holding me back.? Fear FEAR! I even have the money sitting in a bank. But that is the money I am drawing on to supplement my very small pension. That is the money that is enabling me to study and immerse myself into the tarot and create lessons and workshops, This is the money that is buying me the time to create my future. but as Jan Frazier might say. What about the present and how can you create your future by sitting and worrying.
S o that will be my question: How can I create my future without sabotaging myself with reasons why not and fear?
Thoth Deck
Significator: What is this remodeling issue really about?: Princess of Cups Bringing my Soul essence to Earth. The princess has opened her heart to all possibilities. She trusts. This about me trusting the Universe. Trust in my guidance Trust in doing what my hearts desires. Opening to myself. OK What next
Let’s look at all my fears or a few of them.
I will spend all my money and then for some reason it will all fall apart .i.e. A. an earthquake, or B. the money will disappear from a bank failure C. my tarot business will never get to the point of bringing in enough money to supplement my pension and I will end up old and broke or D. my son will need a large sum of money for some important reason and I will have spent it on myself.
This is good to actually name the fears. A card for each one.
Ten of Swords: A mind fuck. Nothing to do with early matters. This comforts me.
Seven of cups: delusional, debauch of feelings. Again nothing to do with reality on any level spiritual or material
Three of Cups; Abundance! Celebrate all the abundance you have, for God’s Sake!!! If I celebrate what I have I will never be without.
The Fool: My son is starting an amazing journey. Money is not his goal. He is naturally abundant, just like me.
Whew this is so affirming!!! Amazing! Thank you cards.
OK So let’s look at what I can do to A. make this process easy, B. allow it to happen in it’s own time and C. melt away resistance
Ace of Wands: BE EXCITED!!! Revved up.! Creative! Intuitive!
Six of Wands: Know that it will happen perfectly. That all will fall in place. That this is part of my destiny. Enough people have told me this. Believe it.
The Moon: Allow the mystery of how this will all happen. take the path of initiation and all that this process will teach me.
A card for the contractor coming today that I am checking out.
The Magician: What a great card for a contractor; talent communicated on all levels and I will be asked to communicate clearly on all levels.
A card for Frank, my friend, that I am hiring to hold my hand.
Three of cups. He will make this fun and keep me in appreciation.
A card for advice from the Universe.
The Hermit You are building your Hermit house, your place of enlightenment. your place to search and teach about what you find, your place where you can lead others within. A place of love incarnate.
Next step, Print this out and look at every day.
Allow Well Being February 26, 2010
Just a reminder. Just allow it. Lightened beings such as Jan Frazier don’t have to remind themselves to allow the light feelings to come up. She is always in Well Being because she is herself without the clothing of so much ego thought, lightened of all the heaviness of what I could have, should have, was supposed to have been. Just only what I am.
Jan says, Don’t work so hard” and for me that is the hardest task, to relax and allow the chariot to thunder on without my control, to allow the pentacles of earthly living to pass from hand to hand in a natural rhythm of life, to offer the cup of love to all, including myself, to look at my truth as a shining sword that cuts through the muddled nightmare. of my own mind and to feel the rising kundalini of the wand energy up my spine, shooting out through my fingers, down through the soles of my feel, out the top of my head in my expansive awareness of my own greatness.
Jan says, Don’t work so hard” and for me that is the hardest task, to relax and allow the chariot to thunder on without my control, to allow the pentacles of earthly living to pass from hand to hand in a natural rhythm of life, to offer the cup of love to all, including myself, to look at my truth as a shining sword that cuts through the muddled nightmare. of my own mind and to feel the rising kundalini of the wand energy up my spine, shooting out through my fingers, down through the soles of my feel, out the top of my head in my expansive awareness of my own greatness.
Diverging Subjects February 26, 2010
So now I have three subjects going: Calling in the One love; Jan Frazier and just looking at the tarot in as many different ways as possible. So I will attempt to combine all my focuses, foci?
One way I read the cards is by asking what I need to look at today, choosing a card and then going into a meditative mode, putting my hand on the card and see what comes. This is a method I want to practice more as a way to assess my higher wisdom ( Jan Frazier) and learn more about the cards.
Today was the Two of Pentacles: Mythic Tarot
A man holding two large Coins in a pleasant outdoor environment.
I received:”Work or Play? Will there be drudgery or joy? The choice is of the upmost importance because work done in joy creates products and deposits of expanded vibration while work done in drudgery has a heavy vibe bringing everything down. Expanded vibration leads to inspiration Contracted vibration leads to a weakening in the impulse to create and grow.”
How related to my quest for enlightened relationship? I can either dig into my patterns with gratitude for all I have been given and what I am about to receive or I can dig into my old patterns and feel their weight again.
Joy is so much the easier choice these days.
One way I read the cards is by asking what I need to look at today, choosing a card and then going into a meditative mode, putting my hand on the card and see what comes. This is a method I want to practice more as a way to assess my higher wisdom ( Jan Frazier) and learn more about the cards.
Today was the Two of Pentacles: Mythic Tarot
A man holding two large Coins in a pleasant outdoor environment.
I received:”Work or Play? Will there be drudgery or joy? The choice is of the upmost importance because work done in joy creates products and deposits of expanded vibration while work done in drudgery has a heavy vibe bringing everything down. Expanded vibration leads to inspiration Contracted vibration leads to a weakening in the impulse to create and grow.”
How related to my quest for enlightened relationship? I can either dig into my patterns with gratitude for all I have been given and what I am about to receive or I can dig into my old patterns and feel their weight again.
Joy is so much the easier choice these days.
The Great Shift February 6, 2010
After looking at my website, a friend asked, “So, what is the Great Shift?” I thanked him for asking because it forced me to be more consise about what I think is happening. It’s difficult to talk about an energetic shift, but I will try.
Everyone has heard about 2012 and you can go on the net and find thousands of entries about what might happen and why and you can even find some scientific explanation for what will be happening out in space. I will attempt to interpret the fairly understandable explanation I recently read in the book Earth Changes and 2012. I will warn you though that this is channeled information but it is the most concise, and yes, scientific and clear explanation I have found. And since we humans have no way of looking at this from space as do other beings, one has to open to the possibility that we are not alone and there might be intelligence out there in what has been shown to be infinite space. There are also some human explanations coming from eminent physicists.
OK, explanation:
There are several activities going on at this point, that scientists are aware of. First, is the Precessional Alignment which occurs approximately every 25,960 years. This is when the solar system passes through “a region of scalar electromagnetic impulses”, which may cause the earth to tip its axis at a certain angle, polar shifts, affecting our ley lines and who knows what else (see website below for a great explanation of scalar energy). We are already swimming in this energy, but my understanding is that this will be increased so giving us all an opportunity for a quantum leap.
Here is a great video explaining this amazing energy in a way that I almost understand and also explains how we may be affected by these shifts in Earth energy. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7xsqg_scalarenergy-in-healing-from-the-he_tech
These quasars will be emanating energy aligned with the poles of the Earth around December 20-22, 2012
What is even more significant is the Galactic Shift which involves the entire solar system. This is when our solar system aligns with the black hole in the center of the Milky Way which some say is actually a parallel universe. We in our little solar system are spinning along the outer spiral arm of our galaxy and once every 216 million years our solar system makes a complete Galactic Cycle. The Galactic Shift occurs twice during every Galactic Cycle as we come in direct contact with the energy emanating from this black hole. We pass through these emanations from the center of the galaxy twice with each revolution, once every 108 million years. Our scientists call this band of energy, of gamma rays and x-rays, a “photon belt “or the “electromagnetic null zone” This beam of energy lasts about 150 years as we come in contact and then move away, so we are in very close contact for 20 years. So this most recent contact has been going on since about 1950 and will continue through 2100, but right now is an increase in intensity. The coinciding of these two energies, the Precessional Alignment of 26,000 years and the Galactic Shift at 108 million years will be at their peak around the Solstice of 2012 for the first time in I don’t know how many zillion years, if ever. This culmination of energy has the possibility of bringing terrific change on Earth.
For the metaphysician this is the time of opportunity for the Earth’s ascendance and soul evolution. It’s about waking up to the fact that we are beings of light contracted into human bodies, that our ego’s view of the world is only one reality, that since the Earth, as a sentient being, is evolving the people on her surface are being pushed to do the same, hence the proliferation of doomsayers and spiritual seekers, people who are being called to clear and clean their bodies, houses, relationships, and minds to be able to survive the shift with the Earth.
You can see this shift beginning in the 50s with our popular culture, through the 60’s up to now, in the crumbling of the economic system, school system and the rise of the Internet and the idea that we are all connected, we are all one. You can also see the change happening even earlier in the 1800s with the transcendentalists, the rise of the occult. But now it is accelerating and we all are feeling it and reacting in different ways with physical or mental disturbances or a sudden choice to radically change our lives. The problem of understanding for many is that metaphysicians interpret scientific information on a different level. If you go on the Web you will find many fascinating articles from very sane people talking about what seems, to those in the third dimension, to be purely delusional. This is due partly to the fact that science is still living in the 18th century and because of the phenomenon that we tend to believe only what is familiar. For example, the natives not seeing Columbus ’s big ships off shore because it was not in their experience or beliefs. If you do not believe in the possibilities of there being something beyond what is tangible than you will never “see” an ET or believe the visions, or believe that you can awaken to a different world.
Whatever you do believe in: Global warming or Earth ascendance, something very big is coming and we will all be forced to make big “shifts” in how we live and view the world.
This is a very simplistic answer and I welcome your questions or anything you might find in your research into the science. I am in this transition myself, and I am finding a community of very sane people who feel the same. Everyone who comes to my classes is feeling this need to move beyond the norm, open up to what cannot be seen but felt on an enormous level.
As I continue to read and research and live my other dimensional life, I will revise or add to this explanation.
Everyone has heard about 2012 and you can go on the net and find thousands of entries about what might happen and why and you can even find some scientific explanation for what will be happening out in space. I will attempt to interpret the fairly understandable explanation I recently read in the book Earth Changes and 2012. I will warn you though that this is channeled information but it is the most concise, and yes, scientific and clear explanation I have found. And since we humans have no way of looking at this from space as do other beings, one has to open to the possibility that we are not alone and there might be intelligence out there in what has been shown to be infinite space. There are also some human explanations coming from eminent physicists.
OK, explanation:
There are several activities going on at this point, that scientists are aware of. First, is the Precessional Alignment which occurs approximately every 25,960 years. This is when the solar system passes through “a region of scalar electromagnetic impulses”, which may cause the earth to tip its axis at a certain angle, polar shifts, affecting our ley lines and who knows what else (see website below for a great explanation of scalar energy). We are already swimming in this energy, but my understanding is that this will be increased so giving us all an opportunity for a quantum leap.
Here is a great video explaining this amazing energy in a way that I almost understand and also explains how we may be affected by these shifts in Earth energy. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7xsqg_scalarenergy-in-healing-from-the-he_tech
These quasars will be emanating energy aligned with the poles of the Earth around December 20-22, 2012
What is even more significant is the Galactic Shift which involves the entire solar system. This is when our solar system aligns with the black hole in the center of the Milky Way which some say is actually a parallel universe. We in our little solar system are spinning along the outer spiral arm of our galaxy and once every 216 million years our solar system makes a complete Galactic Cycle. The Galactic Shift occurs twice during every Galactic Cycle as we come in direct contact with the energy emanating from this black hole. We pass through these emanations from the center of the galaxy twice with each revolution, once every 108 million years. Our scientists call this band of energy, of gamma rays and x-rays, a “photon belt “or the “electromagnetic null zone” This beam of energy lasts about 150 years as we come in contact and then move away, so we are in very close contact for 20 years. So this most recent contact has been going on since about 1950 and will continue through 2100, but right now is an increase in intensity. The coinciding of these two energies, the Precessional Alignment of 26,000 years and the Galactic Shift at 108 million years will be at their peak around the Solstice of 2012 for the first time in I don’t know how many zillion years, if ever. This culmination of energy has the possibility of bringing terrific change on Earth.
For the metaphysician this is the time of opportunity for the Earth’s ascendance and soul evolution. It’s about waking up to the fact that we are beings of light contracted into human bodies, that our ego’s view of the world is only one reality, that since the Earth, as a sentient being, is evolving the people on her surface are being pushed to do the same, hence the proliferation of doomsayers and spiritual seekers, people who are being called to clear and clean their bodies, houses, relationships, and minds to be able to survive the shift with the Earth.
You can see this shift beginning in the 50s with our popular culture, through the 60’s up to now, in the crumbling of the economic system, school system and the rise of the Internet and the idea that we are all connected, we are all one. You can also see the change happening even earlier in the 1800s with the transcendentalists, the rise of the occult. But now it is accelerating and we all are feeling it and reacting in different ways with physical or mental disturbances or a sudden choice to radically change our lives. The problem of understanding for many is that metaphysicians interpret scientific information on a different level. If you go on the Web you will find many fascinating articles from very sane people talking about what seems, to those in the third dimension, to be purely delusional. This is due partly to the fact that science is still living in the 18th century and because of the phenomenon that we tend to believe only what is familiar. For example, the natives not seeing Columbus ’s big ships off shore because it was not in their experience or beliefs. If you do not believe in the possibilities of there being something beyond what is tangible than you will never “see” an ET or believe the visions, or believe that you can awaken to a different world.
Whatever you do believe in: Global warming or Earth ascendance, something very big is coming and we will all be forced to make big “shifts” in how we live and view the world.
This is a very simplistic answer and I welcome your questions or anything you might find in your research into the science. I am in this transition myself, and I am finding a community of very sane people who feel the same. Everyone who comes to my classes is feeling this need to move beyond the norm, open up to what cannot be seen but felt on an enormous level.
As I continue to read and research and live my other dimensional life, I will revise or add to this explanation.
Jan Frazier continued February 3, 2010
Experienced an awakened person last night. I read Jan Frazier’s book When Fear Falls Away last year and loved it. It explained so simply the feeling of being truly there with no ego attachments while still living a life of love, kids, work etc.
She was here in Arcata last night and so I went to sit in her presence hoping something might rub off on me. We sat there waiting expectantly for her wisdom, waiting for everyone to get settled, to stop talking for God’s Sake and then the first thing she said was, “We’re always waiting for something to happen.” We laughed. Her next line that resounded with me was,” We work so hard to good, to be better.” That’s me since as far back as I can remember , always this sense that there was something terribly wrong with me. My parents actually told me this because they were always trying to fix me or punish me, but it went even deeper than that. Lifetime after lifetime of self abuse, abuse by others, loss and sorrow. I have been determined to heal all of me this lifetime, so to told by someone who has moved beyond that I need to stop trying so hard is a new one. Not that I haven’t heard” You are fine as you are.” “Learn to love who you are now” etc. Yeah, yeah. I get it. I have just always had this sense that I could be better and now I am beginning to get that it’s not better, it’s that I am so much bigger than I ever imagined but I am struggling to get to through to my immensity. :-)
OK a task for the cards just to shine more light or confusion on the subject. What is all my struggling about? Really? I ask what am I trying to get to? The Chariot. Oh, Wow! I am trying to control my path. The Chariot is about setting off in a known direction. The personality has been shaped, the duality is under control and we are off. Ha Ha. so my struggle is to control what is happening. And as Jan Frazier keeps saying, the breakthrough is about surrendering. To let go of the mind, to allow. Thank you, cards. (to be continued)
She was here in Arcata last night and so I went to sit in her presence hoping something might rub off on me. We sat there waiting expectantly for her wisdom, waiting for everyone to get settled, to stop talking for God’s Sake and then the first thing she said was, “We’re always waiting for something to happen.” We laughed. Her next line that resounded with me was,” We work so hard to good, to be better.” That’s me since as far back as I can remember , always this sense that there was something terribly wrong with me. My parents actually told me this because they were always trying to fix me or punish me, but it went even deeper than that. Lifetime after lifetime of self abuse, abuse by others, loss and sorrow. I have been determined to heal all of me this lifetime, so to told by someone who has moved beyond that I need to stop trying so hard is a new one. Not that I haven’t heard” You are fine as you are.” “Learn to love who you are now” etc. Yeah, yeah. I get it. I have just always had this sense that I could be better and now I am beginning to get that it’s not better, it’s that I am so much bigger than I ever imagined but I am struggling to get to through to my immensity. :-)
OK a task for the cards just to shine more light or confusion on the subject. What is all my struggling about? Really? I ask what am I trying to get to? The Chariot. Oh, Wow! I am trying to control my path. The Chariot is about setting off in a known direction. The personality has been shaped, the duality is under control and we are off. Ha Ha. so my struggle is to control what is happening. And as Jan Frazier keeps saying, the breakthrough is about surrendering. To let go of the mind, to allow. Thank you, cards. (to be continued)
Jan Frazier January 30, 2010
Experienced an awakened person last night. I read Jan Frazier’s book When Fear Falls Away last year and loved it. It explained so simply the feeling of being truly there with no ego attachments while still living a life of love, kids, work etc.
She was here in Arcata last night and so I went to sit in her presence hoping something might rub off on me. We sat there waiting expectantly for her wisdom, waiting for everyone to get settled, to stop talking for God’s Sake and then the first thing she said was, “We’re always waiting for something to happen.” We laughed. Her next line that resounded with me was,” We work so hard to good, to be better.” That’s me since as far back as I can remember , always this sense that there was something terribly wrong with me. My parents actually told me this because they were always trying to fix me or punish me, but it went even deeper than that. Lifetime after lifetime of self abuse, abuse by others, loss and sorrow. I have been determined to heal all of me this lifetime, so to told by someone who has moved beyond that I need to stop trying so hard is a new one. Not that I haven’t heard” You are fine as you are.” “Learn to love who you are now” etc. Yeah, yeah. I get it. I have just always had this sense that I could be better and now I am beginning to get that it’s not better, it’s that I am so much bigger than I ever imagined but I am struggling to get to through to my immensity. :-)
OK a task for the cards just to shine more light or confusion on the subject. What is all my struggling about? Really? I ask what am I trying to get to? The Chariot. Oh, Wow! I am trying to control my path. The Chariot is about setting off in a known direction. The personality has been shaped, the duality is under control and we are off. Ha Ha. so my struggle is to control what is happening. And as Jan Frazier keeps saying, the breakthrough is about surrendering. To let go of the mind, to allow. Thank you, cards. (to be continued)
She was here in Arcata last night and so I went to sit in her presence hoping something might rub off on me. We sat there waiting expectantly for her wisdom, waiting for everyone to get settled, to stop talking for God’s Sake and then the first thing she said was, “We’re always waiting for something to happen.” We laughed. Her next line that resounded with me was,” We work so hard to good, to be better.” That’s me since as far back as I can remember , always this sense that there was something terribly wrong with me. My parents actually told me this because they were always trying to fix me or punish me, but it went even deeper than that. Lifetime after lifetime of self abuse, abuse by others, loss and sorrow. I have been determined to heal all of me this lifetime, so to told by someone who has moved beyond that I need to stop trying so hard is a new one. Not that I haven’t heard” You are fine as you are.” “Learn to love who you are now” etc. Yeah, yeah. I get it. I have just always had this sense that I could be better and now I am beginning to get that it’s not better, it’s that I am so much bigger than I ever imagined but I am struggling to get to through to my immensity. :-)
OK a task for the cards just to shine more light or confusion on the subject. What is all my struggling about? Really? I ask what am I trying to get to? The Chariot. Oh, Wow! I am trying to control my path. The Chariot is about setting off in a known direction. The personality has been shaped, the duality is under control and we are off. Ha Ha. so my struggle is to control what is happening. And as Jan Frazier keeps saying, the breakthrough is about surrendering. To let go of the mind, to allow. Thank you, cards. (to be continued)
Tarot Therapy January 2, 2010
Yesterday I was really spinning. Could not get focused. Fussing, stymied, wanting clarity so badly about what the hell I am doing, wanting to know what should I do with all this freedom. Finally after wandering around my house, feeling as though I was muffled against my joy, I sat down with the tarot.
What’s going on? Using the Thoth deck
I pull the Fool and immediately begin to cry. Ah, release! I have found that no matter what’s up, when the tears come I have broken open on some level. Immediate relief. Of course, I get the Fool! I am free! As free as the fool. Ungrounded in a full-time job, not much family, no romantic relationship, alone on the precipice or more likely in midair. But I have not hit bottom... yet. It amazes me but I think my daily meditation, my ongoing work with clearing myself, observing myself is actually paying off. Fear is always there but it nips at my heels like the tiger in Crowley’s Fool, there, but not holding me back.
How to move through my fear of falling and back to my joy?
Knight of Cups One of my favorite cards. A beautiful Knight with angel wings offering up his cup to light. So I just need to continue to proffer myself, give myself up to light. The knight or king of cups is the fiery aspect of water. I like that. It’s a passionate offering up to my higher self, connecting with deep emotion.
I am being asked to leap off the cliff with grace and open arms, leap with my heart tethered to the divine, leap up towards joy, love, ecstasy of being. This may seem Fool-ish in this time of seeming contraction but I am ready to heal myself on all levels and definitely working on opening to a higher level of relationship. I am liberating myself for the quantum leap.
What’s going on? Using the Thoth deck
I pull the Fool and immediately begin to cry. Ah, release! I have found that no matter what’s up, when the tears come I have broken open on some level. Immediate relief. Of course, I get the Fool! I am free! As free as the fool. Ungrounded in a full-time job, not much family, no romantic relationship, alone on the precipice or more likely in midair. But I have not hit bottom... yet. It amazes me but I think my daily meditation, my ongoing work with clearing myself, observing myself is actually paying off. Fear is always there but it nips at my heels like the tiger in Crowley’s Fool, there, but not holding me back.
How to move through my fear of falling and back to my joy?
Knight of Cups One of my favorite cards. A beautiful Knight with angel wings offering up his cup to light. So I just need to continue to proffer myself, give myself up to light. The knight or king of cups is the fiery aspect of water. I like that. It’s a passionate offering up to my higher self, connecting with deep emotion.
I am being asked to leap off the cliff with grace and open arms, leap with my heart tethered to the divine, leap up towards joy, love, ecstasy of being. This may seem Fool-ish in this time of seeming contraction but I am ready to heal myself on all levels and definitely working on opening to a higher level of relationship. I am liberating myself for the quantum leap.
Five of Cups January 22, 2010
I love the synchronicity of thinking when one has the time to notice.
I asked for a card to meditate with today and got the five of cups, a card of loss and disappointment on a deep, emotional level. I chose from the Thoth deck which shows a wasteland of dried mud, of empty cups with no sustenance in sight. In my meditation I walked into this sterile, seemingly lifeless landscape and thought about how this would feel if it were my life right now. I suppose it has felt this way in the past but now what I felt was possibility. The cups are empty; there is nothing left but a vacuum and what can fill that? Joy, love, possibility to the extreme. It’s like when your house burns down, a lightness.
That saying that I love, “ Barn’s burnt down-- now I can see the moon.” It’s all gone, so now I can move on. I was surprised at how positive it seemed. Comes from reading When Fear Falls Away by Jan Frazier. Luminous book.
Anyway, awhile later I go to the website of one of my favorite writers on the tarot, Robert Place, and on his homepage is an article about the alchemical egg, How the alchemists would seal the substance that they wanted to transform into an airtight vessel, known as the Hermetic Egg. “The substance would go through a symbolic death and rebirth... and when the egg was cracked a new mystical substance emerged.. a catalyst capable of improving any substance it came in contact with. “ This is a simplistic explanation of a much more complex idea that Mr. Place discusses, but I immediately connected this idea to the five of cups. If we could allow our grief to transform us, allow all that had been to die for lack of breath, thought, or focus and then seal ourselves away for awhile, to stew as in a large alchemical crockpot, until we blended our experience of sorrow into a thick, rich, nurturing stew . I think that’s what I am doing. I am stewing. I am not ready for eating just yet, but when I emerge I will be a very savory mix of my complex life experience, bone marrow, pungent species mixed with the sweet honey of my spirit to create something quite extraordinary.
Check out Robert Place’s website Just Google him with tarot.
I asked for a card to meditate with today and got the five of cups, a card of loss and disappointment on a deep, emotional level. I chose from the Thoth deck which shows a wasteland of dried mud, of empty cups with no sustenance in sight. In my meditation I walked into this sterile, seemingly lifeless landscape and thought about how this would feel if it were my life right now. I suppose it has felt this way in the past but now what I felt was possibility. The cups are empty; there is nothing left but a vacuum and what can fill that? Joy, love, possibility to the extreme. It’s like when your house burns down, a lightness.
That saying that I love, “ Barn’s burnt down-- now I can see the moon.” It’s all gone, so now I can move on. I was surprised at how positive it seemed. Comes from reading When Fear Falls Away by Jan Frazier. Luminous book.
Anyway, awhile later I go to the website of one of my favorite writers on the tarot, Robert Place, and on his homepage is an article about the alchemical egg, How the alchemists would seal the substance that they wanted to transform into an airtight vessel, known as the Hermetic Egg. “The substance would go through a symbolic death and rebirth... and when the egg was cracked a new mystical substance emerged.. a catalyst capable of improving any substance it came in contact with. “ This is a simplistic explanation of a much more complex idea that Mr. Place discusses, but I immediately connected this idea to the five of cups. If we could allow our grief to transform us, allow all that had been to die for lack of breath, thought, or focus and then seal ourselves away for awhile, to stew as in a large alchemical crockpot, until we blended our experience of sorrow into a thick, rich, nurturing stew . I think that’s what I am doing. I am stewing. I am not ready for eating just yet, but when I emerge I will be a very savory mix of my complex life experience, bone marrow, pungent species mixed with the sweet honey of my spirit to create something quite extraordinary.
Check out Robert Place’s website Just Google him with tarot.
Sources of Love January 19, 2010
Here is a simple yet profound reading using the energy of the four suits from my friend and mentor, Carrie Paris. I have adapted it for a reading on relationship using the The Lover’s Path Tarot. Since each suit’s energy is focused to overflowing in each Ace, I call this the Source Energy Spread
Ace of Coins/Pentacles - Love as fertilizer
Your life force is requesting partnership for a more complete realization. How will you best materialize this request and give it form?
Strength - This card appeared in my last reading as a way to connect with myself. First, connect with my own masculine, darker instinctual self. How appropriate that it should appear again. Through my own strengthening I can manifest not only partnership with myself but with another.
Ace of Arrows/Swords - Love as truth serum
How might your thoughts be stimulated for a positive vision of relationship if you removed the mind of the critic and came from a place of curiosity?
Temptation or The Devil Relationship as fun? What a concept! Or, beware of obsession, control. This card says to me that I am not ready to just play around, or even play. I agree. I need to continue to have fun with myself. I do know myself well enough to realize that I need more time.
Ace of Cups - Love as transformative
When coming into contact with the “other” how can you reflect your feelings, accurately and with integrity?
Queen of Cups Just do it. Just be honest about your feelings and be comfortable, no excuses, or apologies. This is very difficult for me in relationship with men or women.
Ace of Staves/Wands - Love as inspiration which brings action
What initiative can you take that will feed the flames of your creative fire and bring forth your vision of a liberated relationship?
Awakening/The Sun - Know that I can have the most amazing ecstatic and liberated love!!!! Know that I have cleared and worked and suffered enough, that I can live in freedom with another. That this is possible for me in this lifetime. It is there for me.
Quick and deep and very informative. Thank you, Catarina, for the inspiration.
Ace of Coins/Pentacles - Love as fertilizer
Your life force is requesting partnership for a more complete realization. How will you best materialize this request and give it form?
Strength - This card appeared in my last reading as a way to connect with myself. First, connect with my own masculine, darker instinctual self. How appropriate that it should appear again. Through my own strengthening I can manifest not only partnership with myself but with another.
Ace of Arrows/Swords - Love as truth serum
How might your thoughts be stimulated for a positive vision of relationship if you removed the mind of the critic and came from a place of curiosity?
Temptation or The Devil Relationship as fun? What a concept! Or, beware of obsession, control. This card says to me that I am not ready to just play around, or even play. I agree. I need to continue to have fun with myself. I do know myself well enough to realize that I need more time.
Ace of Cups - Love as transformative
When coming into contact with the “other” how can you reflect your feelings, accurately and with integrity?
Queen of Cups Just do it. Just be honest about your feelings and be comfortable, no excuses, or apologies. This is very difficult for me in relationship with men or women.
Ace of Staves/Wands - Love as inspiration which brings action
What initiative can you take that will feed the flames of your creative fire and bring forth your vision of a liberated relationship?
Awakening/The Sun - Know that I can have the most amazing ecstatic and liberated love!!!! Know that I have cleared and worked and suffered enough, that I can live in freedom with another. That this is possible for me in this lifetime. It is there for me.
Quick and deep and very informative. Thank you, Catarina, for the inspiration.
My own divine partnership January 17, 2010
I had a boost yesterday. Exchanged readings with a friend who verified that yes, there is partnership in my future, in my case a man. I am well aware that my first partnership is with me and that I could also choose a woman, but I am definitely hetero. No doubt some of that may be growing up in a woman/woman partnership which was traumatic in some ways and left me longing for male energy. Whatever our choices there is duality for a reason and we search for that that we are missing, though most often it’s our own selves. So my question for the cards today is about my relationship with myself.
What is my next step for a stronger partnership with my divine, expansive self?
Thoth Deck - Lust card - Strength card in other decks though Crowley numbered it as the more traditional 11 in his deck.
This is also my year card, this reaching for my authentic self. I am well aware that I will not attract the partner I want unless I am able to be consistantly authentic with others. The woman is naked and leans back ecstatically on her beast claiming her light. Wonderful and frightening. My next step is overcoming my fear of the power of my sacred sexuality that encompasses all my divine gifts. To come out, so to speak, and be that intense, dynamic person that I am. Not that I don’t express it now and watch some people delight in me and others back away.
And so be it.
What is my next step for a stronger partnership with my divine, expansive self?
Thoth Deck - Lust card - Strength card in other decks though Crowley numbered it as the more traditional 11 in his deck.
This is also my year card, this reaching for my authentic self. I am well aware that I will not attract the partner I want unless I am able to be consistantly authentic with others. The woman is naked and leans back ecstatically on her beast claiming her light. Wonderful and frightening. My next step is overcoming my fear of the power of my sacred sexuality that encompasses all my divine gifts. To come out, so to speak, and be that intense, dynamic person that I am. Not that I don’t express it now and watch some people delight in me and others back away.
And so be it.
My search for partnership January 7, 2010
So my challenge is to continue on with my quest for relationship despite the fact that all the signs are that it is happening way in the future ( nine of pentacles in my last reading). Though as I always tell my tarot students, as soon as you read for your future there is opportunity to change it. But I also had a reading from my personal tarot reader, who is supremely accurate and she didn’t see anything happening either. Sigh. But then since I have gone online to practice talking to men, I have found that I am not in such a big hurry. Mostly I just want to stick my big toe in and have some fun, the non-sexual type, get some confidence, and have some more fun and maybe make some new friends... As you can see, I am not very clear about what I am doing. so I am challenging myself to draw a card every day about relationship and see what happens. It will also force a regular contribution to this blog.
So today: What is my next action to bring romantic love into my life? using the Lover’s Tarot Illusion or The Moon. Figures. this is an initiation, this is on my path and it’s scary and murky, and I am not sure what I am doing, but I am compelled. Concerning love this card is about illusions, delusions, Intense emotions. This has always been my motis operandis. I see my vision of the person, their potential. I don’t step back and really look at the situation and who they are. So moving slowly and carefully my lack of enthusiasm will work well for me. (-:
So today: What is my next action to bring romantic love into my life? using the Lover’s Tarot Illusion or The Moon. Figures. this is an initiation, this is on my path and it’s scary and murky, and I am not sure what I am doing, but I am compelled. Concerning love this card is about illusions, delusions, Intense emotions. This has always been my motis operandis. I see my vision of the person, their potential. I don’t step back and really look at the situation and who they are. So moving slowly and carefully my lack of enthusiasm will work well for me. (-:
Winter Solstice 2009
Ah, the solstice. My new year, new beginning time of release and light. I am doing a ritual tonight with friends to release what we have reflected on in this darkening time.
As the High Priestess I want to effect, to say something that means something but I want to say it without ego and without pushing my own philosophy.
So I have asked the cards what the people who are coming tonight need to hear.
In the ceremony I call in the elements and allow them to speak through me, hoping the participants will hear something they can relate to. But I like the idea of asking now, to imprint myself with possibilities.
Solstice Reading
I chose four cards. One for each direction.
What do we need to hear from the East, powers of air?
Nine of wands - Strength The strength to hold to your ideals, to what you know is right, to have the courage to speak out, to put fire behind our words, to fight for what is right.
What do we need to hear from the South, powers of fire?
Two cards came here The Emperor and the Princess of Cups
A wonderful combination of Fire and Heart. Balance our anger with love, balance flow with control. balance openness with our need to make it right. Yes we need to go out there and right the wrongs, but we have to lead with our hearts
What do we need to hear from the West, powers of water?
Prince of Disks -Taking our feelings and put them in action in the world. If something does not seem right then get out there and be a part of the solution.
What do we need to hear from the North, powers of earth?
The Star - A direct message of hope and faith. We need to connect the earth to her divinity by connecting ourselves to our own divinity.
A card in the middle is the fire.
The Fire What is needed to purify and cleanse us?
Queen of Wands a fiery card especially in the Thoth deck.
It’s about being completely true to ourselves. Burning away all false selves and revealing ourselves as we truly are, releasing our power into the world
The next card is for what do you need to release?
What needs to be released tonight for me personally?
Yes! 10 of swords! My despair. my negative thinking. All the thoughts that denigrate and judge
A card for the outcome of tonight 10 of pentacles - If I can release the negative what must follow? The positive. a joyful existence in matter.
Happy Solstice
As the High Priestess I want to effect, to say something that means something but I want to say it without ego and without pushing my own philosophy.
So I have asked the cards what the people who are coming tonight need to hear.
In the ceremony I call in the elements and allow them to speak through me, hoping the participants will hear something they can relate to. But I like the idea of asking now, to imprint myself with possibilities.
Solstice Reading
I chose four cards. One for each direction.
What do we need to hear from the East, powers of air?
Nine of wands - Strength The strength to hold to your ideals, to what you know is right, to have the courage to speak out, to put fire behind our words, to fight for what is right.
What do we need to hear from the South, powers of fire?
Two cards came here The Emperor and the Princess of Cups
A wonderful combination of Fire and Heart. Balance our anger with love, balance flow with control. balance openness with our need to make it right. Yes we need to go out there and right the wrongs, but we have to lead with our hearts
What do we need to hear from the West, powers of water?
Prince of Disks -Taking our feelings and put them in action in the world. If something does not seem right then get out there and be a part of the solution.
What do we need to hear from the North, powers of earth?
The Star - A direct message of hope and faith. We need to connect the earth to her divinity by connecting ourselves to our own divinity.
A card in the middle is the fire.
The Fire What is needed to purify and cleanse us?
Queen of Wands a fiery card especially in the Thoth deck.
It’s about being completely true to ourselves. Burning away all false selves and revealing ourselves as we truly are, releasing our power into the world
The next card is for what do you need to release?
What needs to be released tonight for me personally?
Yes! 10 of swords! My despair. my negative thinking. All the thoughts that denigrate and judge
A card for the outcome of tonight 10 of pentacles - If I can release the negative what must follow? The positive. a joyful existence in matter.
Happy Solstice
The Chariot December13, 2009
I have been thinking a lot about the Chariot visualization I did with my tarot class this last week. The best part of teaching is what one learns in the process. Every week I get to experience a tarot card in depth and live in it as I take my students into its magical message. The Chariot lesson contains a reading and a visualization that has stuck with me all week.
The reading is based on the images of the Waite/Smith card with the cards laid out to look like the card.
Two cards represent the horses, the opposing forces of masculine and feminine in your life that need to work in tandem to move you forward to your goals.
One card represents the chariot, your personality, human structure/ego
On top of this card is the a card representing the charioteer, your true self or soul energy
On top of this card is a card representing the armor that all the charioteers wear, your strength
At the top of the image is a card which represents the canopy, your magic, Divine protection.
After looking briefly at the image created, I then took my students and myself on a guided meditation.
Later I heard about my student’s journeys full of light and magical happy images. I, on the other hand, almost killed myself As I sank into my meditative state I could feel my tension. I was Ben Hur at the chariot races and as soon as I instructed my students to allow their chariot to move, I found myself cracking a huge whip. sending my horses into a frenzy. I was horrified. The major idea behind the chariot is your forward movement comes by your will not by thrashing yourself. I told my students to observe what they saw on their journey but as I sent my horses forward, we became a fiery blur and I saw nothing as I hurled myself towards a blinding light, flying into some sort of fiery future totally out of control. As we began to disintegrate I realized the error of my ways, tried to stop and found myself swimming in an ocean, my horse’s heads barely out of the water with the knowledge that we were going to drown, that I could not do this, So I let go. I allowed myself to surrender, slowly sinking until I found myself walking along a lovely country road, the sun shining, my horses walking on either side of me willingly, without whips. I walked in peace as I savored my journey, enjoying the scenery and yes, I get the message. And oh, this is so hard for me. To allow the pleasure of surrender. Yes, I need to evolve, to bring more love to myself and the world but I need to allow it, to trust that I am on my way. I don’t have to rush there. The road stretches ahead and if I choose this journey towards light, to the multi-dimensional being that I am, it can be a delightful discovery of each flower, bird and person I meet along the way. This week as I find myself pushing or denigrating myself for not doing enough, I take myself this on this lovely walk with myself. No personality, just myself walking in tandem with my masculine, my feminine in wholeness, in time. I have the time to bring in light, just by simply living in love, spreading it within myself and everywhere I go.
The reading is based on the images of the Waite/Smith card with the cards laid out to look like the card.
Two cards represent the horses, the opposing forces of masculine and feminine in your life that need to work in tandem to move you forward to your goals.
One card represents the chariot, your personality, human structure/ego
On top of this card is the a card representing the charioteer, your true self or soul energy
On top of this card is a card representing the armor that all the charioteers wear, your strength
At the top of the image is a card which represents the canopy, your magic, Divine protection.
After looking briefly at the image created, I then took my students and myself on a guided meditation.
Later I heard about my student’s journeys full of light and magical happy images. I, on the other hand, almost killed myself As I sank into my meditative state I could feel my tension. I was Ben Hur at the chariot races and as soon as I instructed my students to allow their chariot to move, I found myself cracking a huge whip. sending my horses into a frenzy. I was horrified. The major idea behind the chariot is your forward movement comes by your will not by thrashing yourself. I told my students to observe what they saw on their journey but as I sent my horses forward, we became a fiery blur and I saw nothing as I hurled myself towards a blinding light, flying into some sort of fiery future totally out of control. As we began to disintegrate I realized the error of my ways, tried to stop and found myself swimming in an ocean, my horse’s heads barely out of the water with the knowledge that we were going to drown, that I could not do this, So I let go. I allowed myself to surrender, slowly sinking until I found myself walking along a lovely country road, the sun shining, my horses walking on either side of me willingly, without whips. I walked in peace as I savored my journey, enjoying the scenery and yes, I get the message. And oh, this is so hard for me. To allow the pleasure of surrender. Yes, I need to evolve, to bring more love to myself and the world but I need to allow it, to trust that I am on my way. I don’t have to rush there. The road stretches ahead and if I choose this journey towards light, to the multi-dimensional being that I am, it can be a delightful discovery of each flower, bird and person I meet along the way. This week as I find myself pushing or denigrating myself for not doing enough, I take myself this on this lovely walk with myself. No personality, just myself walking in tandem with my masculine, my feminine in wholeness, in time. I have the time to bring in light, just by simply living in love, spreading it within myself and everywhere I go.
Clarity for Jumbled Mess December 2009
Asked for a card to look at today.
Six of Swords in the Thoth Deck. a
What I love most about the tarot is its ability to inspire thought, thought that changes, that moves. I wanted to write something today, so I asked the tarot about my subject of thought for the day and I get the card of clear thinking. I am always thinking that I want clarity not the jumbling ramblings of my monkey mind.. In meditation my mind wanders a lot but at times very clear thoughts come. Conversation on a specific topic. Clear advice and solutions. Conversations with my higher self.
So I ask for the clear message from this card for me today:
"The idea is that your thoughts may appear jumbled yet you must know if you are focused on specific goal or outcome thought will eventually lead you to what you are asking for, that even thought in a jumbled form will create something very substantial. This is the law of attraction. The beauty of seeming fractured thoughts is that all thought eventually manifests. Of course the more aware you are of your thoughts the less surprised you will be about what you manifest." (-:
An impetus to be very aware of what I am thinking about.
Six of Swords in the Thoth Deck. a
What I love most about the tarot is its ability to inspire thought, thought that changes, that moves. I wanted to write something today, so I asked the tarot about my subject of thought for the day and I get the card of clear thinking. I am always thinking that I want clarity not the jumbling ramblings of my monkey mind.. In meditation my mind wanders a lot but at times very clear thoughts come. Conversation on a specific topic. Clear advice and solutions. Conversations with my higher self.
So I ask for the clear message from this card for me today:
"The idea is that your thoughts may appear jumbled yet you must know if you are focused on specific goal or outcome thought will eventually lead you to what you are asking for, that even thought in a jumbled form will create something very substantial. This is the law of attraction. The beauty of seeming fractured thoughts is that all thought eventually manifests. Of course the more aware you are of your thoughts the less surprised you will be about what you manifest." (-:
An impetus to be very aware of what I am thinking about.
Resistance to Light December 3, 2009
I have a new deck. always exciting. I am attracted to the images, the artwork. And this deck, The Alchemical deck which has been around for awhile, attracted me with its simplicity and clear symbolic language. I am eager to delve into it but will need to get the bigger book. The one that came with the deck is thin, but the cards are beautiful. Check out creator, Robert Place. He writes scholarly articles, makes jewelry. A man from the past in our present and future.
I am also working with the Seven Sacred Flames book, Aurelia Jones, channeled masters, saying the prayers, singing them actually, which is a great way to start the day. The only problem I have with this material is that much of its focus is on ascension to the 5th dimension. I rather like it here now that I am living as I want to, so I am resistive to the material but drawn to it .. so I am asking he cards
What do I need to focus on with this material for my highest good? - Cards from the Tarot
The Moon - The initiation. Duh. This is exactly what this book is about. So, I am on track with this book; I need to continue with my practice of these prayers each day.
So I ask: What is my resistance to this material?
Two of Wands - The picture shows a hand with fire connecting with a tree already on fire. I ask about my resistance.
"It’s about your own power getting bigger. You want to stay small, with less responsibility. As long as you are small no one will notice you and then you won’t have to be so transparent. The more people notice you, the more you have to live your beliefs. Walk your talk. There is much of you that does not want to be seen, that wants to hide in darkness, thinks it is unworthy This is about bringing all of you into light. Just think of this work as bringing in more light."
I like this. I continue to find better words for myself. I am not working on ascension, but I am lighting up all aspects of my being. That I can live with.
I asked for one final comment. Two of Cups. Oh, my. Yes it’s about loving myself but it is also my path to finding loving partnership. Yes, and that’s a whole other story.
I am also working with the Seven Sacred Flames book, Aurelia Jones, channeled masters, saying the prayers, singing them actually, which is a great way to start the day. The only problem I have with this material is that much of its focus is on ascension to the 5th dimension. I rather like it here now that I am living as I want to, so I am resistive to the material but drawn to it .. so I am asking he cards
What do I need to focus on with this material for my highest good? - Cards from the Tarot
The Moon - The initiation. Duh. This is exactly what this book is about. So, I am on track with this book; I need to continue with my practice of these prayers each day.
So I ask: What is my resistance to this material?
Two of Wands - The picture shows a hand with fire connecting with a tree already on fire. I ask about my resistance.
"It’s about your own power getting bigger. You want to stay small, with less responsibility. As long as you are small no one will notice you and then you won’t have to be so transparent. The more people notice you, the more you have to live your beliefs. Walk your talk. There is much of you that does not want to be seen, that wants to hide in darkness, thinks it is unworthy This is about bringing all of you into light. Just think of this work as bringing in more light."
I like this. I continue to find better words for myself. I am not working on ascension, but I am lighting up all aspects of my being. That I can live with.
I asked for one final comment. Two of Cups. Oh, my. Yes it’s about loving myself but it is also my path to finding loving partnership. Yes, and that’s a whole other story.
I am back november 30, 2009
I am back! I finished my “novel” and have released my writing energies again and imagination. I have new respect for those who write fiction for a living. NaNoWriMo was a good experience, I have ideas for writing for the rest of my life.:-) and an outline for a novel of ascension. This word of the day with metaphysicians is overused but I have to admit, I am very intrigued by it and I am using the idea of moving more into my light body, more into my joy as my focus in meditation and whenever I am conscious enough in my daily activities. The 5th dimension is here with us, activating on many levels including the tarot. Everything is evolving, and I find myself looking for decks that can express the vibration we are moving into. The Fifth Element Tarot deck is definitely fifth dimensional and looks at all the traditional tarot ideas in a very positive manner. The images are not my favorite but the inspiration and the infusion of spirit in these cards in right on target for bringing the world into the new age.
I asked for a card for today from the Fifth Element deck Eight of Feathers (Swords). A lighter version of air symbolism. As with any new deck I always think back to the template for most decks the Waite/ Smith deck. Traditionally this card shows a woman tied up, unable to move, surrounded by the swords of her thoughts. In the Fifth Element a picture of a bird and the word Focus. Thinking on it I found the idea of focus connects well to the traditional. When our minds threaten to paralyze us, it’s time to focus, to sit in stillness. We are bombarded with words, opinions, news and ideas to the point where it is hard to hear our own guidance about the decisions we must make whether it’s the incredibly important ones or the minor day to day. The message for me is when you are feeling cramped, it is time to sit and expand.
I asked for a card for today from the Fifth Element deck Eight of Feathers (Swords). A lighter version of air symbolism. As with any new deck I always think back to the template for most decks the Waite/ Smith deck. Traditionally this card shows a woman tied up, unable to move, surrounded by the swords of her thoughts. In the Fifth Element a picture of a bird and the word Focus. Thinking on it I found the idea of focus connects well to the traditional. When our minds threaten to paralyze us, it’s time to focus, to sit in stillness. We are bombarded with words, opinions, news and ideas to the point where it is hard to hear our own guidance about the decisions we must make whether it’s the incredibly important ones or the minor day to day. The message for me is when you are feeling cramped, it is time to sit and expand.
the Lovers November 23, 2009
My focus these days is the Lovers card. I am teaching this card with the sixes in my tarot class, and I seem to now be living this card. Sex, tantric sex, figures prominently in the NaNo novel I am writing and I have signed up for a class called “Calling in the One”. It seems that when I work through the deck in focused manner that my life parallels the card I am working on. This time through it is in my face. So now the Lovers card has become huge all of a sudden. One of my characters in my novel, I just realized is working on the basics of this card which is the idea that we are male add female in one body but separated. Until this character was four years old, he was a girl. Then,(it’s a long story) his etheric body, soul was moved to a living female girl body. Now as a teen he is dealing with the part of him that has been repressed , the soul of his feminine. I believe we were all once one, hermaphroditic, but with the “fall” and by choice we decided to experiment and see how it worked separating into male and female. Well, the jury is out on that one. It’s wonderful being female and having that zing when connecting to a male type but the constant tension apparent in any relationship between the feminine and the masculine is getting a little old. It’s time for a real connection and appreciation of both aspects within and without. This is what the course I will begin in January is about and I am stoked. I had really gotten to the point where I was very happy without a man in my life. In fact, I had come to the point where I knew I could be happy alone with out a male partner for the rest of my life, but as I study the Lovers, and read my required text for this class, I am realizing I can have both my spiritual self and a mate, that that is the point, to reconnect to all of me. I have always known there is tremendous growth in relationships, it’s just that is was always so painful. I am seeing how I can choose growth with another and it does not have to hurt. My choice. This will b a whole other blog. Gotta go,go,go.
Group Dynamics continue November 17, 2009
Continued from November 16 The main issue with group dynamics that I got with this reading was that I was still judging, less than I used to, but I wasn’t truly standing back, listening, observing to see what was really going on with each person.
By using two decks I really got a more rounded view of the issue. Asking about the dynamic with the group and then the deeper personal dynamic. I then thought about what I could do with this information
As I chose cards I found myself going for the hidden cards, the ones beneath my first choice. so here are the members of my singing group. I have left out the details but you get some idea of the personalities and dynamics from these cards
#1 10 of pentacles- Feeling weight of responsibility
deeper dynamic - Three of swords
Message to me? Be aware of this dynamic and continue to take more responsibility for the group and have more compassion.
#2 - Strength card dynamic energy at bay.
Deeper dynamic - The Lovers -
Message for me? I can encourage his great energy.
#3- Prince/Knight of Wands - creativity in action.
Deeper dynamic - Knight of cups -
Message for me? I can appreciate his galloping creativity and be patient. He will come through.
#4 -Two of pentacles Looking for balance
Deeper dynamic nine of wands
I can appreciate her balancing act and work on staying balanced myself, so as to not upset her cart, so to speak.
#5 The Fool
7 of pentacles - fingers to worry about. Our accompanist
#6 Me The High Priest or Hierophant - A driving force, a leader Bring in expansive ideas strong willed Think I am in the right. I know what we should be doing to be a truly dynamic group
Deeper dynamic - 8 of pentacles Prudence I think like the Hierophant but I am being very careful. Not showing my strength for fear of being whacked. The old dynamic for me. This is the great challenge. Working hard t0 create something worthwhile without being a real pain, but still being myself
Question: What do I need to keep in mind to truly enjoy myself and How can I bring my leadership forth in a manner that brings us together?
10 of swords - Need to enjoy myself I need to stay out of my head. It ruins the experience for me. Kills the heart.
Knight of swords - Need to just lead, need to go forth with my ideas. Put them out there Fly with them
One last card -Message from the universe. Queen of Swords. Be honest, dont’ pretend, put it out there, be clear and vulnerable. Lots to think about.
By using two decks I really got a more rounded view of the issue. Asking about the dynamic with the group and then the deeper personal dynamic. I then thought about what I could do with this information
As I chose cards I found myself going for the hidden cards, the ones beneath my first choice. so here are the members of my singing group. I have left out the details but you get some idea of the personalities and dynamics from these cards
#1 10 of pentacles- Feeling weight of responsibility
deeper dynamic - Three of swords
Message to me? Be aware of this dynamic and continue to take more responsibility for the group and have more compassion.
#2 - Strength card dynamic energy at bay.
Deeper dynamic - The Lovers -
Message for me? I can encourage his great energy.
#3- Prince/Knight of Wands - creativity in action.
Deeper dynamic - Knight of cups -
Message for me? I can appreciate his galloping creativity and be patient. He will come through.
#4 -Two of pentacles Looking for balance
Deeper dynamic nine of wands
I can appreciate her balancing act and work on staying balanced myself, so as to not upset her cart, so to speak.
#5 The Fool
7 of pentacles - fingers to worry about. Our accompanist
#6 Me The High Priest or Hierophant - A driving force, a leader Bring in expansive ideas strong willed Think I am in the right. I know what we should be doing to be a truly dynamic group
Deeper dynamic - 8 of pentacles Prudence I think like the Hierophant but I am being very careful. Not showing my strength for fear of being whacked. The old dynamic for me. This is the great challenge. Working hard t0 create something worthwhile without being a real pain, but still being myself
Question: What do I need to keep in mind to truly enjoy myself and How can I bring my leadership forth in a manner that brings us together?
10 of swords - Need to enjoy myself I need to stay out of my head. It ruins the experience for me. Kills the heart.
Knight of swords - Need to just lead, need to go forth with my ideas. Put them out there Fly with them
One last card -Message from the universe. Queen of Swords. Be honest, dont’ pretend, put it out there, be clear and vulnerable. Lots to think about.
Group Dynamics November 16, 2009
Sitting in meditation this morning I asked about a singing group I am involved with. I am struggling with the group dynamic. How to enjoy everyone and the process and not get frustrated when it’s not going the way I want. Also I am more and more aware of the struggles going on with the participants and their own judgments of me and I am sure, of themselves. I have always been aware of others' judgment, but it was clouded with my own judgment of myself. This awareness and clearing of my own critic puts a new perspective on it all. At times I feel way out there, like they must think I am crazy or God, she’s obnoxious but I am persevering with just being me, but being me with joy and working hard on clearing judgment of me or them. OPPORTUNITY!
So my guidance suggested that I do a reading A card for each person and then from another deck a companion card looking at the deeper dynamic this person is dealing with in this group. It was very enlightening and I will share some of it with you tomorrow for I have run out of time. I am saving my time for NANO! AUgh!!!!
So my guidance suggested that I do a reading A card for each person and then from another deck a companion card looking at the deeper dynamic this person is dealing with in this group. It was very enlightening and I will share some of it with you tomorrow for I have run out of time. I am saving my time for NANO! AUgh!!!!
Tarot for Writers November 13, 2009
Another good reason for blogging . I always know what day it is. Ah, This morning I wanted to draw cards about why I am writing a novel and what is the possible outcome from this exercise with NaNOWriMo and the outcome for my heroine, Karin.
Why? What is the purpose of this exercise for me? King Wands
Makes total sense. The wands are the suit of the writer. Confidence in myself as a writer To really experience writing on a grand scale. Very structured writing even though I feel like I am all over the place.
What can get in the way of my creative muse? Strength
A card of controlling of the beast. Trying to control my own creativity. This is also about perseverance. Just to keep going no matter what schlock I think I am writing. Great information
What will be the outcome? King of Pentacles. Great satisfaction. A resting on some level. A sense of accomplishment Clarity about my own purpose here on Earth
And what about my heroine Karin? 10 of swords. Interesting idea for the book. I kill her off. In other words she ascends from her human body. I had hoped for a more happily after after but as we are immortal the happy ever after is in our immortal bodies of light. At last I am using the tarot for an idea.
I have accomplished my goal for the morning. Thank you, blog.
Why? What is the purpose of this exercise for me? King Wands
Makes total sense. The wands are the suit of the writer. Confidence in myself as a writer To really experience writing on a grand scale. Very structured writing even though I feel like I am all over the place.
What can get in the way of my creative muse? Strength
A card of controlling of the beast. Trying to control my own creativity. This is also about perseverance. Just to keep going no matter what schlock I think I am writing. Great information
What will be the outcome? King of Pentacles. Great satisfaction. A resting on some level. A sense of accomplishment Clarity about my own purpose here on Earth
And what about my heroine Karin? 10 of swords. Interesting idea for the book. I kill her off. In other words she ascends from her human body. I had hoped for a more happily after after but as we are immortal the happy ever after is in our immortal bodies of light. At last I am using the tarot for an idea.
I have accomplished my goal for the morning. Thank you, blog.
Totally Immersed November 12, 2009
I am totally immersed in my NaNo story as one has to be to write a couple of thousand words a day. I am keeping up and sometimes I like it and sometimes not. This weekend I want to start using tarot cards as muses. The reason I got into this was the book Tarot for Writers and then I ended up in Corinne’s chat room and now I am writing 50,000 words in a month. The tarot certainly is taking me for a ride. And of course, now I am taking myself for a ride because I don’t back down from challenges. :-)
The Gift of Blogging November 2009
After two days of reading tarot and mad writing on my “novel” I can finally blog to the universe. I was going to explore why I doing NaNoWriMo but that has become very clear as this forced writing is taking me on a journey of healing of my past and visioning my future. I am sure I will write more on that. And blogging forces also, in a positive manner my probing every day or every two or three days :-), what is up for me. A few days a go it was criticism. How to alchemically transform the acid in my stomach, the shouting in the head, the uncomfortable stance of trying to wriggle out of the truth. “They don’t know what they are saying. I am beyond them” etc and finally get down to learning something from their words, to go beyond the words. It took me three days to move through to the message and the gift. And since we are being given messages almost every second of the day through our senses and you figure at least of a quarter of these messages may not be pleasant, especially if you are like me and listen to the radio or read the newspaper or occasionally watch TV There is an onslaught of ideas and happenings coming at you and you automatically, unless you are an enlightened one who stays in the moment always, having to work through the reactions, responses in your own body and head.
Card for the Day: The gift of blogging. The Star - Oh I love the perfection of the tarot. I am quoting Ziegler whose book Mirror of the Soul, guide to the Thoth deck, is my Bible.
“Trust in the self; connection the universal intelligence; a beautiful process. Cosmic inspiration of the highest nature is received and made manifest on the material plane.”
I am amazed. This is what bogging has become for me. I am “fully open to the input from the spiritual plane, and hope to pass it on in full service to the highest good.” The gift for me is the “inspiration I receive gives wings to my soul and lets the apparently impossible become manifest in marvelous ways.”
This is blogging for me. I am expressing from my heart as close as I can get from my soul out to the universe and whether anyone reads this or not doesn’t not matter because the content is there in the vibration of the planet . The more we express ourselves, the more we all tap in and share our hearts ,the faster we all can move to the next level of peace and harmony.
Card for the Day: The gift of blogging. The Star - Oh I love the perfection of the tarot. I am quoting Ziegler whose book Mirror of the Soul, guide to the Thoth deck, is my Bible.
“Trust in the self; connection the universal intelligence; a beautiful process. Cosmic inspiration of the highest nature is received and made manifest on the material plane.”
I am amazed. This is what bogging has become for me. I am “fully open to the input from the spiritual plane, and hope to pass it on in full service to the highest good.” The gift for me is the “inspiration I receive gives wings to my soul and lets the apparently impossible become manifest in marvelous ways.”
This is blogging for me. I am expressing from my heart as close as I can get from my soul out to the universe and whether anyone reads this or not doesn’t not matter because the content is there in the vibration of the planet . The more we express ourselves, the more we all tap in and share our hearts ,the faster we all can move to the next level of peace and harmony.
Heal Yourself and You Heal Everyone
NaNoWriMo has taken over most of my spare creative time, not surprising or anticipated but you really don’t know what it will be like until you jump in. I began with one version of this futuristic family, then ran out of steam, so began to write the back story and then found myself writing about my ex-husband. Writing the version of our relationship I had wished for, healing him and me through writing.
If you understand that time is not linear, that time is all here right now in this moment, you realize you can change your past by changing yourself in the present. By healing yourself you can change the vibration of the past that continues to resonate in your present. Some might say it’s all in your head but I believe your past vibrates in your soul and if you agree that your soul is the connection to all that is, then that vibration is affecting much more than just you. This is where the adage comes from: that if you want to help heal the world, heal yourself first.
So card of the day concerning this writing: Druidcraft Deck I ask for a representation of this idea. The Ace of Swords. The picture is an arm holding a sword, emerging out of a lake, the sky is stormy but there is light in the distance. A card of resurrection, of the birth of clarity out of the murky and drowning emotional state. I am creating a new version of my life, rewriting my history and so writing my future.
If you understand that time is not linear, that time is all here right now in this moment, you realize you can change your past by changing yourself in the present. By healing yourself you can change the vibration of the past that continues to resonate in your present. Some might say it’s all in your head but I believe your past vibrates in your soul and if you agree that your soul is the connection to all that is, then that vibration is affecting much more than just you. This is where the adage comes from: that if you want to help heal the world, heal yourself first.
So card of the day concerning this writing: Druidcraft Deck I ask for a representation of this idea. The Ace of Swords. The picture is an arm holding a sword, emerging out of a lake, the sky is stormy but there is light in the distance. A card of resurrection, of the birth of clarity out of the murky and drowning emotional state. I am creating a new version of my life, rewriting my history and so writing my future.
Monday, May 10, 2010
NaNoWriMo November 2009
If you have never heard of this acronym then google it right now. This is a very cool happening. thousands of people all over the world writing fiction together for one month. Honor system. 50,000 words by November 30 midnight. I have been asking myself why am I doing this?
At first it was because I stumbled on a group Tarot for Writers who were doing this using the tarot as inspiration and using Corinne Kenner’s wonderful book Tarot for Writers. Check it out on Amazon. Anyway I thought, I like to write, I now have the time. It would be good for my chops and I want to see how the tarot fits it and check out this group. Many good reasons. By the way, wonderful group. Great tips from Corinne. Very inspiring as a writer and tarot reader.
But now as I have begun my very convoluted fantasy novel I realize this is practice in accessing my imagination, my right brain, that part of me that reads the cards and hears the story that is connected to me or my client. So it’s like boot camp for training the right brain while the left brain strains to find the words and type as fast as possible. My struggle is accessing the correct word fast enough because when you are writing a couple of thousand words a day, there is little time for spell check or a thesaurus or for even thinking much about it. Right now my characters are beginning to write it for me and i am off on an adventure. I can’t wait to see what happens next! (-:
But i have to ask the cards.
Why NaNo and how will this enhance my life right now? And some advice for the next phase.
I am using the Thoth deck
Why NaNo? The Magician So perfect. To hone my communication skills. Fiction writing - Ideas - Communicating with spirit for inspiration - trust in what I am getting and putting down on paper and on and on. This will enhance my skills as a communicator.
Lots of enhancement already but I will ask. What else besides communication and magic can I access with this project? Adjustment (or Justice in other decks) A wonderful card of Justice on a tightrope incredibly focused card Discipline. To write everyday. To organize myself so I can write everyday. this is one reason I have stayed away from the idea of considering myself a writer, the discipline of writing.
Finally, advice for my next chapter Empress and the Magician. Great!!! Allow it to come to me as an Empress allows all abundance and love to come to her. She is all abundance and love. and Just keep accessing ideas. Keep bringing it through.
This blog is also a discipline. Bringing ideas forth, taking the time to organize, sort of, (-: and finally write it down. Structured inspiration.
At first it was because I stumbled on a group Tarot for Writers who were doing this using the tarot as inspiration and using Corinne Kenner’s wonderful book Tarot for Writers. Check it out on Amazon. Anyway I thought, I like to write, I now have the time. It would be good for my chops and I want to see how the tarot fits it and check out this group. Many good reasons. By the way, wonderful group. Great tips from Corinne. Very inspiring as a writer and tarot reader.
But now as I have begun my very convoluted fantasy novel I realize this is practice in accessing my imagination, my right brain, that part of me that reads the cards and hears the story that is connected to me or my client. So it’s like boot camp for training the right brain while the left brain strains to find the words and type as fast as possible. My struggle is accessing the correct word fast enough because when you are writing a couple of thousand words a day, there is little time for spell check or a thesaurus or for even thinking much about it. Right now my characters are beginning to write it for me and i am off on an adventure. I can’t wait to see what happens next! (-:
But i have to ask the cards.
Why NaNo and how will this enhance my life right now? And some advice for the next phase.
I am using the Thoth deck
Why NaNo? The Magician So perfect. To hone my communication skills. Fiction writing - Ideas - Communicating with spirit for inspiration - trust in what I am getting and putting down on paper and on and on. This will enhance my skills as a communicator.
Lots of enhancement already but I will ask. What else besides communication and magic can I access with this project? Adjustment (or Justice in other decks) A wonderful card of Justice on a tightrope incredibly focused card Discipline. To write everyday. To organize myself so I can write everyday. this is one reason I have stayed away from the idea of considering myself a writer, the discipline of writing.
Finally, advice for my next chapter Empress and the Magician. Great!!! Allow it to come to me as an Empress allows all abundance and love to come to her. She is all abundance and love. and Just keep accessing ideas. Keep bringing it through.
This blog is also a discipline. Bringing ideas forth, taking the time to organize, sort of, (-: and finally write it down. Structured inspiration.
Dizzy MOrnings
Waking up two mornings very dizzy. I have had these symptoms before years ago. Assumed flu or ear problems but i think it’s more metaphysical. Asked about it today in meditation. Got that I am leaving my body in my dream state, experimenting and when i wake up I am not all here. Ha. I love these conversation in my head.
I believe myself and then I don’t . There is still a small part of me that thinks I am delusional, not crazy, I function well in this reality but I question my wisdom. Of course that is what this is all about, trust. So far so good. Anyway I like the story, that I am working on expansion of spirit, but just missing the train, so to speak, and am having trouble keeping up with myself. What I do trust, are the cards So I will ask them: Why am I dizzy in the morning?
I go into meditation and I speak to myself. My light being self. I choose four cards. Three are major arcana. Augh Too much. But I will again rely on source for answers.
First card - Temperance
Obvious choice. I am tempering myself, alchemical change. Literally changing on a cellular level. This is a scientific card in that sense.
Second card is the Lovers; Again a combining of polarities. the Lovers is more focused on the bringing together of Masculine and feminine energies. It’s about wholeness, comfort with the male and female, preparing for union
Third card - 7 of swords - futility The futility of the mind to figure all this out. To have it make senses on an intellectual level. It is futile Trust in the way. Trust in self and love is the basis of trust and love is the basis of all, Don’t you agree. I have to say yes.
Last card is the Devil. This card has never come in my readings and now I am seeing it more and more. I take this as a positive. I am stirring things up, breaking the bonds, having loads of fun Admitting my “darkness” embracing my passion and intensity. some may not like it. But if I listen to them I am chained and lost like the people in the balls at the bottom of this giant phallic picture. Life force rises in me and it is love and joy.
So the cards support my theory of the dizziness. Stay tuned for more dizzy adventures as I begin writing my novel with NaNoWriMO with my friends the tarot tomorrow.
I believe myself and then I don’t . There is still a small part of me that thinks I am delusional, not crazy, I function well in this reality but I question my wisdom. Of course that is what this is all about, trust. So far so good. Anyway I like the story, that I am working on expansion of spirit, but just missing the train, so to speak, and am having trouble keeping up with myself. What I do trust, are the cards So I will ask them: Why am I dizzy in the morning?
I go into meditation and I speak to myself. My light being self. I choose four cards. Three are major arcana. Augh Too much. But I will again rely on source for answers.
First card - Temperance
Obvious choice. I am tempering myself, alchemical change. Literally changing on a cellular level. This is a scientific card in that sense.
Second card is the Lovers; Again a combining of polarities. the Lovers is more focused on the bringing together of Masculine and feminine energies. It’s about wholeness, comfort with the male and female, preparing for union
Third card - 7 of swords - futility The futility of the mind to figure all this out. To have it make senses on an intellectual level. It is futile Trust in the way. Trust in self and love is the basis of trust and love is the basis of all, Don’t you agree. I have to say yes.
Last card is the Devil. This card has never come in my readings and now I am seeing it more and more. I take this as a positive. I am stirring things up, breaking the bonds, having loads of fun Admitting my “darkness” embracing my passion and intensity. some may not like it. But if I listen to them I am chained and lost like the people in the balls at the bottom of this giant phallic picture. Life force rises in me and it is love and joy.
So the cards support my theory of the dizziness. Stay tuned for more dizzy adventures as I begin writing my novel with NaNoWriMO with my friends the tarot tomorrow.
Head in a crystal
Today in meditation I was holding a large, what you might call a geode crystal. It’s like a bowl of crystals. Beautiful and you can use these types with all the points crowded together and turned upward to clean your other crystals or tarot cards.
So I am thinking maybe if it works on crystals it will work on my head, so I put my head down in the crystal. Imagine this woman head in crystal on her lap. Yeah I am way out there. But it worked. No thoughts crowding in. Felt good actually. I will remember this. Try it through out the day when feeling spacey.
I will soon be out of commission for real blogging because I am participating in NaNoWriMo, a world wide frenzy of writing in November. We are all trying to write a novel or more like get 50,000 words down on paper in a semblance of order in one month, no cheating. It’s a challenge and I am using the tarot cards for plot, character, when I get stuck etc. I will report in at times to let the universe know what’s up because I doubt anyone is reading this since I haven't told but a few people that I am even blogging. Hah !
So I am thinking maybe if it works on crystals it will work on my head, so I put my head down in the crystal. Imagine this woman head in crystal on her lap. Yeah I am way out there. But it worked. No thoughts crowding in. Felt good actually. I will remember this. Try it through out the day when feeling spacey.
I will soon be out of commission for real blogging because I am participating in NaNoWriMo, a world wide frenzy of writing in November. We are all trying to write a novel or more like get 50,000 words down on paper in a semblance of order in one month, no cheating. It’s a challenge and I am using the tarot cards for plot, character, when I get stuck etc. I will report in at times to let the universe know what’s up because I doubt anyone is reading this since I haven't told but a few people that I am even blogging. Hah !
Tarot Dreams
I woke up this morning at 4AM with tarot cards in my head. There were three cards. I automatically asked that they be revealed still half awake, wondering if I were making this up, but also sure that I was receiving a message.
The first card was the Ace of Wands, Thoth deck. A huge fiery torch, 2nd was the two of Pentacles, which I realized upon reviewing this whole event, was from the Druidcraft Tarot, a gorgeous deck. A woman juggles between two natural worlds, one a storm at sea, the other a more peaceful benign scene. The third card was the three of Wands, Thoth deck, the word is Virtue, another fiery card. As I ruminated about what this meant, Intention came forth, the issues I have been working with are my finances, How to juggle and be at peace allowing the available abundance to be mine. I am the woman juggling her existence on the physical plane, finding peace at times and worrying about lack on the other. Stymied for a bit about Virtue in my half sleep what I had the realization that the tarot was the perfect vehicle for dream work, that the archetypes and images are dream images, metaphors and that I could begin to work on questions in my dreams asking for readings from the universe about issues in my life or questions about life events, etc. I have always wanted to play with my dreams, but was not willing to take the time or energy, all I wanted to do was SLEEP.
But if I can play with the tarot in my sleep state... I look up the three of wands, Virtue, in my oracle for the Thoth, Ziegler’s book. Key words are self confidence, no compromises. That hits the spot No getting a part time job just anywhere, allowing my insecurities to get the best of me. This has been my intuition, but to get it in my sleep... I love IT!
Now that I have more time and I can get up at 5AM because I WANT to, not because I HAVE to I think I will try this idea. Will report more on this experiment.
The first card was the Ace of Wands, Thoth deck. A huge fiery torch, 2nd was the two of Pentacles, which I realized upon reviewing this whole event, was from the Druidcraft Tarot, a gorgeous deck. A woman juggles between two natural worlds, one a storm at sea, the other a more peaceful benign scene. The third card was the three of Wands, Thoth deck, the word is Virtue, another fiery card. As I ruminated about what this meant, Intention came forth, the issues I have been working with are my finances, How to juggle and be at peace allowing the available abundance to be mine. I am the woman juggling her existence on the physical plane, finding peace at times and worrying about lack on the other. Stymied for a bit about Virtue in my half sleep what I had the realization that the tarot was the perfect vehicle for dream work, that the archetypes and images are dream images, metaphors and that I could begin to work on questions in my dreams asking for readings from the universe about issues in my life or questions about life events, etc. I have always wanted to play with my dreams, but was not willing to take the time or energy, all I wanted to do was SLEEP.
But if I can play with the tarot in my sleep state... I look up the three of wands, Virtue, in my oracle for the Thoth, Ziegler’s book. Key words are self confidence, no compromises. That hits the spot No getting a part time job just anywhere, allowing my insecurities to get the best of me. This has been my intuition, but to get it in my sleep... I love IT!
Now that I have more time and I can get up at 5AM because I WANT to, not because I HAVE to I think I will try this idea. Will report more on this experiment.
Intention
So today I am sitting and thinking What is my intention here? Why am I blogging? Why have I begun this process of a website? My ego? or To become egoless?. I doubt it. To figure it all out? To have more fun? more happiness?
Voice: No, your intention is to expand. This idea is beyond all labels, all words.
Me: This is helpful. I do get caught up in the words. I judge the words.
V: Yes, judgment is in most of your words. You describe what you see. It’s an interpretation and depending on your language not everyone will agree.
Me: But don’t I judge as to whether you are to be listened to?
V: No, we would say you choose. At at this point you have the choice to expand or not. If you expand you will connect. This is a Universal Law, a given.
Me: A Gift to us.
V: Yes
Me: So I am connecting
V: Yes
Me: Hard time believing.
V: Your choice to resist. But you do not resist much. You are learning to trust, to fall, to fly. We would have you choose a card (tarot) from The Osho Zen. We like these cards.
So my question is about my intention.
The card Totality, 5 of wands. When I open the Osho Tarot book, I open right to the page on Totality. Magical. In traditional tarot , thi is a card of seeming confusion about action but the Osho has the solution. "Get in the moment. Get out of the confusion. Be totally focused on whatever you are doing. Confusion is a choice
I sit again and ask Clearly: What is my intention with this website, with this blogging?
Five of cups: Clinging to the past. So my intention is to let go of my past with this blog. I can get this. Being so out there with what I am doing is definitely letting go of my hiding in traditional places for fear of being ostrosized. (Spelling! haven't figured out spell check with this yet!)
Blogging is an amazing expansion, a throwing down the gauntlet to the self. You can’t go back. Each entry pushes me forward into, I don’t know what. EXPANSION!!!!! Of course. If anyone is reading these entries, you will tire of this word. (-:
Voice: No, your intention is to expand. This idea is beyond all labels, all words.
Me: This is helpful. I do get caught up in the words. I judge the words.
V: Yes, judgment is in most of your words. You describe what you see. It’s an interpretation and depending on your language not everyone will agree.
Me: But don’t I judge as to whether you are to be listened to?
V: No, we would say you choose. At at this point you have the choice to expand or not. If you expand you will connect. This is a Universal Law, a given.
Me: A Gift to us.
V: Yes
Me: So I am connecting
V: Yes
Me: Hard time believing.
V: Your choice to resist. But you do not resist much. You are learning to trust, to fall, to fly. We would have you choose a card (tarot) from The Osho Zen. We like these cards.
So my question is about my intention.
The card Totality, 5 of wands. When I open the Osho Tarot book, I open right to the page on Totality. Magical. In traditional tarot , thi is a card of seeming confusion about action but the Osho has the solution. "Get in the moment. Get out of the confusion. Be totally focused on whatever you are doing. Confusion is a choice
I sit again and ask Clearly: What is my intention with this website, with this blogging?
Five of cups: Clinging to the past. So my intention is to let go of my past with this blog. I can get this. Being so out there with what I am doing is definitely letting go of my hiding in traditional places for fear of being ostrosized. (Spelling! haven't figured out spell check with this yet!)
Blogging is an amazing expansion, a throwing down the gauntlet to the self. You can’t go back. Each entry pushes me forward into, I don’t know what. EXPANSION!!!!! Of course. If anyone is reading these entries, you will tire of this word. (-:
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Our anger, the world's anger
October 19, 2009
An opportunity has arisen for some self-reflection. Self righteous anger. An incident recently has me looking at my anger, my reaction was of such intensity which is unusual for me. Instead of exploring the feelings, I lashed out and oh, it felt good! and of course it hurt someone and they lashed back and here I am am trying to become an enlightened person, so I couldn’t just let it go. The ongoing conversation was a clue that I could not stay in the present until I worked this out. So I sat in meditation and looked at all the opportunities this brought forth to me The opportunity for a more honest relationship with this person. Anger is good for that if you can work through the rubble after firing through the wall. I want more honesty in relationship... how the hell do you do that without being righteous? or in ego? Another time. Anyway I drew cards about my anger As I began to pick cards using my pendulum, I began to cry and lo and behold I get the nine of cups. Emotions free and flowing. Anger breaks down my own walls so that I can feel. Connect to more happiness. OK I then asked what is this anger about specifically and I get the princess of cups. A wonderfully vulnerable and soft card . My anger is about my perception that I cannot be open and vulnerable with people that I will get, have been whacked. I can feel the protection rising. I was protecting a friend but I was really tapping into my own memories of vulnerability. Her predicament just brought this up for me And then I asked what is all this reflection for? What is the opportunity here?
I get the Queen of Wands. My own empowerment. She is full of fire, but not angry. Though in in the Crowley deck she looks angry. I have always had trouble with this card and I realize it is about my anger. I am afraid of my own power and somehow it is stuck in my anger. Whoa! This is an epiphany. This issue of my anger has come up before but I have not understood where to take it. I am on to something here not yet formulated. More to follow I am sure. More opportunities to clear.
October 20, 2009 More Reflections on Anger
This is my mother's birthday who believed that anger killed her caused her to be so sick she had to ascend. She was processing anger about her past to such a degree that it affected her liver until it looked liked an alcoholic’s liver, shriveled up. She didn’t make it. The anger was so great. So perhaps it is appropriate to continue to look at this.
I ask my mother to be with me as I choose cards to day exploring my anger, the world’s anger, our anger.
First question: What is our collective anger? Seven of cups. In the crowlwey deck the word is debauch. An excuse to muck around in feelings. Love turned to muck Feelings taken to such depth that we lose ourselves, our essence of love. It is sticky and as I have recently experienced by throwing my anger around, another’s unconsciousness of their anger can then get stuck in the muck of hurt feelings and insecurities eliciting defensiveness and pretty soon you have this uproar of feelings, a quick sand that sucks you both down unless...
Next question: How to extract from anger?
Five of words - Extract yourself from the mind. The five of swords is defeat. Someone loses. Actually everyone loses in some sense. So the thought of why you are angry that self-righteous chatter in your head needs to be released. I can attest to this process I worked all last night in my yoga class to release, let go. It worked but took concentrated effort.
I then asked. What is the next step in healing the rift created with this anger? I am asking specifically for my self. Princess of Disks. I don’t have a clue. Something new needs to be reborn. Let me ask spirit.
Spirit says: You can continue to shine the light of truth upon the situation and brng it into balance for yourself and for the other, if they are interested I can continue to see the light through the forest. Don’t give up. Even though the situation does not seem to be changing in the physical realm, you can make changes on the ethereal and there will be a shift for you and that person or situation.
Thank you spirit. Thank you for this opportunity to explore. world’s anger, our anger.
First question: What is our collective anger? Seven of cups. In the Crowley deck the word is debauch. An excuse to muck around in feelings. Love turned to muck Feelings taken to such depth that we lose ourselves, our essence of love. It is sticky and as I have recently experienced this by throwing my anger around, and inciting another’s unconscious anger which got them stuck in the muck of hurt feelings and insecurities eliciting defensiveness and soon you have this uproar of feelings, a quick sand that sucks you both down unless...
Next question: How to extract from anger?
Five of words - Extract yourself from the mind. The five of swords is defeat. Someone loses. Actually everyone loses in some sense. So the thought of why you are angry that self-righteous chatter in your head needs to be released. I can attest to this process I worked all last night in my yoga class to release, let go. It worked but took concentrated effort.
I then asked. What is the next step in healing the rift created with this anger? I am asking specifically for my self. Princess of Disks. I don’t have a clue. Something new needs to be reborn. Let me ask spirit.
Spirit says: You can continue to shine the light of truth upon the situation and brng it into balance for yourself and for the other, if they are interested I can continue to see the light through the forest. Don’t give up. Even though the situation does not seem to be changing in the physical realm, you can make changes on the ethereal and there will be a shift for you and that person or situation.
Thank you spirit. Thank you for this opportunity to explore.
,
To see an edited and published version of this reflection, check out my column in Isis Scrolls at Isiscrolls.com
An opportunity has arisen for some self-reflection. Self righteous anger. An incident recently has me looking at my anger, my reaction was of such intensity which is unusual for me. Instead of exploring the feelings, I lashed out and oh, it felt good! and of course it hurt someone and they lashed back and here I am am trying to become an enlightened person, so I couldn’t just let it go. The ongoing conversation was a clue that I could not stay in the present until I worked this out. So I sat in meditation and looked at all the opportunities this brought forth to me The opportunity for a more honest relationship with this person. Anger is good for that if you can work through the rubble after firing through the wall. I want more honesty in relationship... how the hell do you do that without being righteous? or in ego? Another time. Anyway I drew cards about my anger As I began to pick cards using my pendulum, I began to cry and lo and behold I get the nine of cups. Emotions free and flowing. Anger breaks down my own walls so that I can feel. Connect to more happiness. OK I then asked what is this anger about specifically and I get the princess of cups. A wonderfully vulnerable and soft card . My anger is about my perception that I cannot be open and vulnerable with people that I will get, have been whacked. I can feel the protection rising. I was protecting a friend but I was really tapping into my own memories of vulnerability. Her predicament just brought this up for me And then I asked what is all this reflection for? What is the opportunity here?
I get the Queen of Wands. My own empowerment. She is full of fire, but not angry. Though in in the Crowley deck she looks angry. I have always had trouble with this card and I realize it is about my anger. I am afraid of my own power and somehow it is stuck in my anger. Whoa! This is an epiphany. This issue of my anger has come up before but I have not understood where to take it. I am on to something here not yet formulated. More to follow I am sure. More opportunities to clear.
October 20, 2009 More Reflections on Anger
This is my mother's birthday who believed that anger killed her caused her to be so sick she had to ascend. She was processing anger about her past to such a degree that it affected her liver until it looked liked an alcoholic’s liver, shriveled up. She didn’t make it. The anger was so great. So perhaps it is appropriate to continue to look at this.
I ask my mother to be with me as I choose cards to day exploring my anger, the world’s anger, our anger.
First question: What is our collective anger? Seven of cups. In the crowlwey deck the word is debauch. An excuse to muck around in feelings. Love turned to muck Feelings taken to such depth that we lose ourselves, our essence of love. It is sticky and as I have recently experienced by throwing my anger around, another’s unconsciousness of their anger can then get stuck in the muck of hurt feelings and insecurities eliciting defensiveness and pretty soon you have this uproar of feelings, a quick sand that sucks you both down unless...
Next question: How to extract from anger?
Five of words - Extract yourself from the mind. The five of swords is defeat. Someone loses. Actually everyone loses in some sense. So the thought of why you are angry that self-righteous chatter in your head needs to be released. I can attest to this process I worked all last night in my yoga class to release, let go. It worked but took concentrated effort.
I then asked. What is the next step in healing the rift created with this anger? I am asking specifically for my self. Princess of Disks. I don’t have a clue. Something new needs to be reborn. Let me ask spirit.
Spirit says: You can continue to shine the light of truth upon the situation and brng it into balance for yourself and for the other, if they are interested I can continue to see the light through the forest. Don’t give up. Even though the situation does not seem to be changing in the physical realm, you can make changes on the ethereal and there will be a shift for you and that person or situation.
Thank you spirit. Thank you for this opportunity to explore. world’s anger, our anger.
First question: What is our collective anger? Seven of cups. In the Crowley deck the word is debauch. An excuse to muck around in feelings. Love turned to muck Feelings taken to such depth that we lose ourselves, our essence of love. It is sticky and as I have recently experienced this by throwing my anger around, and inciting another’s unconscious anger which got them stuck in the muck of hurt feelings and insecurities eliciting defensiveness and soon you have this uproar of feelings, a quick sand that sucks you both down unless...
Next question: How to extract from anger?
Five of words - Extract yourself from the mind. The five of swords is defeat. Someone loses. Actually everyone loses in some sense. So the thought of why you are angry that self-righteous chatter in your head needs to be released. I can attest to this process I worked all last night in my yoga class to release, let go. It worked but took concentrated effort.
I then asked. What is the next step in healing the rift created with this anger? I am asking specifically for my self. Princess of Disks. I don’t have a clue. Something new needs to be reborn. Let me ask spirit.
Spirit says: You can continue to shine the light of truth upon the situation and brng it into balance for yourself and for the other, if they are interested I can continue to see the light through the forest. Don’t give up. Even though the situation does not seem to be changing in the physical realm, you can make changes on the ethereal and there will be a shift for you and that person or situation.
Thank you spirit. Thank you for this opportunity to explore.
,
To see an edited and published version of this reflection, check out my column in Isis Scrolls at Isiscrolls.com
Talking to Source with the Tarot
October 12, 2009
I am excited by the challenge of sitting every day and allowing my thoughts to flow in tandem with source
V_ Why?
C - Because it causes me to listen, to reflect in a focused manner and I feel better knowing that there is so much more of me.
V - We are pleased to please.
C - that surprises me that you would want to please.
V- Ah, it is pleasing to teach, open, and expand the human experience because this opens and expands all and this is very pleasing. Through listening to Abraham you understand that each affects all, that every thought affects the bigger aspect of you which is connected to every other source.
C - Yes. I would like to talk about the Empress today since I am presenting her tomorrow for my class. Does the Empress want to please?
V -We are in the tarot language now.
C - Yes
V - The tarot is a book of source, in pictorial language. We are familiar with it, but why do you ask us when you can just read the code?
C - I want your take. you are in a different dimension. You see all from another perspective...
V - The Empress... The Empress is bigger than the feminine which puts all these aspects in a structure as do all the cards. You must break out of the structure.
C - Good. This is what I want to do.
V The Empress Mother Nature all that shimmers in the light of the rainbow in glistening rain each drop pregnant with life for the earth The blending of all elements so that spirit may live in human form so unstructured. so know that Yes, unbalanced. Wild, which is why the next card is the Emporer Structure so little control that as you said, Kali-like destruction is possible. think of your great storms, tsunamis. Think of the great wave of the orgasm. Out of control, out of body, yet she is seen in female form.
C - thank you That was very poetic. Thank you for connecting me to my words. you inspire me, bring in the breathe of the creative force which is the Empress. The goddess of writers.
October 13
What is Love? I decided to use the tarot for the big questions. Inspired by Rachel Pollack’s Book the Forest of the Tarot.
WHAT IS LOVE/ ACE OF SWORDS The Thoth deck shows a large swords connecting to a living light. Love is a thought in light, a pure thought like the thought that broke through in the big bang and created matter. A thought that is a conduit of Source from heaven to earth. Human bodies are the conduit. Love is your connection to source through thought.
So why do we take this power of diving thought, this purity of the Ace of Swords and tun it on others in the name of Love, cutting ourselves and others with negativity of love?
Ace of Wands Passion and fire. Pure thought brought to an idea. The thought of love becomes a passion a fire that can turn to obsession. a must have , must do and though it is a fire of creativity, purity, it can burn out of control
How can we take this passion, this obsession, this need for love and to be loved to a level where it truly can uplift us all?
Princess of Wands
We let go of fear. Fear is what turns love to obsession. Keeps us from feeling the joy of love. The Princess of Wands is in the fire, the passion of love she is flying from fear. Looking forward with hope and joy. ONly wanting to express her love.
Ask your own deck these question I would be interested in your comments about what you get, for we all have access to information and our infinite is unique and adds to the whole
so for me using the Thoth deck. Love is a Diving thought that gets turned into a burning idea as it works it way down to Ace of Wands, sometimes an obsession because of the attachment of fear. So the message I have received is that by letting go of the fear of opening to love, I can use love as a connection to source and so all aspects of being.
October 16, 2009
Card of the Day Knight of Words - Thoth Deck
Swiftness of happening. The Great Mind is moving quickly, flying the oceans of the earth. Great waves of the great mind are sweeping through the atmosphere sharply penetrating the essence of the bodies you now inhabit. We are teaching you to fly in your luminescent bodies that aspect of your forgotten, that ability of lighting your and other’s way.. Allow the speed exhilarate in the past rushing past you, of not knowing your future, but only in the moment of excitement and joy.
October 17, 2009
My longtime friend patty’s birthday. So I am choosing a card as a message to her but as we are all connected this card is a message to you all, whomever this reaches.
, Thoth deck - Knight of Pentacles
A time of throwing back the helmet of protection, the beginnings of allowing vulnerability, sorrow has passed there is joy in the future but the moment is decisive. Lay down the weapons and look towards inspiration, sit and look at light, to look past matter, put down the shield to truly allow the creativity of light available to you. You have been armored and in the world. Now is the time to let go of structure. There is guidance available. Allow rest and listen.
I am excited by the challenge of sitting every day and allowing my thoughts to flow in tandem with source
V_ Why?
C - Because it causes me to listen, to reflect in a focused manner and I feel better knowing that there is so much more of me.
V - We are pleased to please.
C - that surprises me that you would want to please.
V- Ah, it is pleasing to teach, open, and expand the human experience because this opens and expands all and this is very pleasing. Through listening to Abraham you understand that each affects all, that every thought affects the bigger aspect of you which is connected to every other source.
C - Yes. I would like to talk about the Empress today since I am presenting her tomorrow for my class. Does the Empress want to please?
V -We are in the tarot language now.
C - Yes
V - The tarot is a book of source, in pictorial language. We are familiar with it, but why do you ask us when you can just read the code?
C - I want your take. you are in a different dimension. You see all from another perspective...
V - The Empress... The Empress is bigger than the feminine which puts all these aspects in a structure as do all the cards. You must break out of the structure.
C - Good. This is what I want to do.
V The Empress Mother Nature all that shimmers in the light of the rainbow in glistening rain each drop pregnant with life for the earth The blending of all elements so that spirit may live in human form so unstructured. so know that Yes, unbalanced. Wild, which is why the next card is the Emporer Structure so little control that as you said, Kali-like destruction is possible. think of your great storms, tsunamis. Think of the great wave of the orgasm. Out of control, out of body, yet she is seen in female form.
C - thank you That was very poetic. Thank you for connecting me to my words. you inspire me, bring in the breathe of the creative force which is the Empress. The goddess of writers.
October 13
What is Love? I decided to use the tarot for the big questions. Inspired by Rachel Pollack’s Book the Forest of the Tarot.
WHAT IS LOVE/ ACE OF SWORDS The Thoth deck shows a large swords connecting to a living light. Love is a thought in light, a pure thought like the thought that broke through in the big bang and created matter. A thought that is a conduit of Source from heaven to earth. Human bodies are the conduit. Love is your connection to source through thought.
So why do we take this power of diving thought, this purity of the Ace of Swords and tun it on others in the name of Love, cutting ourselves and others with negativity of love?
Ace of Wands Passion and fire. Pure thought brought to an idea. The thought of love becomes a passion a fire that can turn to obsession. a must have , must do and though it is a fire of creativity, purity, it can burn out of control
How can we take this passion, this obsession, this need for love and to be loved to a level where it truly can uplift us all?
Princess of Wands
We let go of fear. Fear is what turns love to obsession. Keeps us from feeling the joy of love. The Princess of Wands is in the fire, the passion of love she is flying from fear. Looking forward with hope and joy. ONly wanting to express her love.
Ask your own deck these question I would be interested in your comments about what you get, for we all have access to information and our infinite is unique and adds to the whole
so for me using the Thoth deck. Love is a Diving thought that gets turned into a burning idea as it works it way down to Ace of Wands, sometimes an obsession because of the attachment of fear. So the message I have received is that by letting go of the fear of opening to love, I can use love as a connection to source and so all aspects of being.
October 16, 2009
Card of the Day Knight of Words - Thoth Deck
Swiftness of happening. The Great Mind is moving quickly, flying the oceans of the earth. Great waves of the great mind are sweeping through the atmosphere sharply penetrating the essence of the bodies you now inhabit. We are teaching you to fly in your luminescent bodies that aspect of your forgotten, that ability of lighting your and other’s way.. Allow the speed exhilarate in the past rushing past you, of not knowing your future, but only in the moment of excitement and joy.
October 17, 2009
My longtime friend patty’s birthday. So I am choosing a card as a message to her but as we are all connected this card is a message to you all, whomever this reaches.
, Thoth deck - Knight of Pentacles
A time of throwing back the helmet of protection, the beginnings of allowing vulnerability, sorrow has passed there is joy in the future but the moment is decisive. Lay down the weapons and look towards inspiration, sit and look at light, to look past matter, put down the shield to truly allow the creativity of light available to you. You have been armored and in the world. Now is the time to let go of structure. There is guidance available. Allow rest and listen.
January 2010
Wow ONE OF MY GREATEST CHALLENGES THESE DAYS IS TECHNOLOGY. I BOUGHT MYSELF A MAC. I WILL BLAME IT ON GUIDANCE, SO EVEN THOUGH I CAN BARELY FUNCTION, ON MY PC, I AM NOW LEARNING A NEW LANGUAGE WITH THIS NEW MACHINE AND THEN I AM TRYING TO CREATE A WEBSITE!!! WHAT WAS I THINKING? And why is this all in capitals??? I hope you are laughing because it is so laughable So now I have all these fonts and who knows why it is all in capitals. Ah I seem to have fixed it...
So reading for the day. What is it with me and technology? Why do I find it so difficult? I am going to meditate awhile and will come back to this.
So duh. The internet is a metaphor, a physical incarnation of source. Here we all are expressing ourselves to ourselves and anyone else who cares to listen and read. All knowledge and ideas are being put on the web; we are coming together as a world on the web . No truth goes unnoticed , no good or bad is not video photographed and uploaded and I, who have asked for expansion, complain about the difficulty of my mac and technology in general when all the universe is doing is delivering what I asked for. I get it!! I want to shout it Need to get back those shouting capitals that I couldn't get rid of a minute ago. Ha! I love it!!
So let's see what the cards say. Using Osho Zen Deck
Question: Why do I struggle so with technology?’
The Rebel or the Emperor in other decks
Spirit: Carolyn, you have always been a rebel, always on the fringe as you say, alone, isolated, not getting how to fit in, conform. You have learned as you matured who you are still strafes under rules and structure. Technology is very left brained, based mathematically and you resist this method. You chose a MAC hearing it is more intuitive but because you have figured out the PC Mac is not another language for you but still based on the mathematical equation. There is a process of surrender for you. Remember the purpose of contrast for expansion. The internet will cause to to continue your expansion, as it is speeding up the process for everyone.
How can I grasp it more. I feel like am inferior in some way.
What to keep in mind?
Friendliness - Two trees connecting. Two of cups
See this technology as Source in machine , as friendly, a place I can share my heart. Make friends with it. Duh. I always get the obvious answer. But when I am in resistance...
I will ask for a final word from source about me and computer technology. My website in particular.
Oh, my. Trust A woman is flying!! This is wonderful. I am going to copy this card. for this is my life right now. Free falling in grace. Turning in the love of the universe
Spirit: Carolyn! You are so loved. Open your arms to this opportunity of expression. You the writer, creative compassionate soul who want to give and share and serve. Here is an open forum to reach those who you are meants to reach. There is room for all. Trust that you do have a unique message that needs to be heard. You are correct. Trying to figure this out logically is not for you. You need to feel your way through this. Trust!!
Thank you!!
www.tarotofbecoming
Wow ONE OF MY GREATEST CHALLENGES THESE DAYS IS TECHNOLOGY. I BOUGHT MYSELF A MAC. I WILL BLAME IT ON GUIDANCE, SO EVEN THOUGH I CAN BARELY FUNCTION, ON MY PC, I AM NOW LEARNING A NEW LANGUAGE WITH THIS NEW MACHINE AND THEN I AM TRYING TO CREATE A WEBSITE!!! WHAT WAS I THINKING? And why is this all in capitals??? I hope you are laughing because it is so laughable So now I have all these fonts and who knows why it is all in capitals. Ah I seem to have fixed it...
So reading for the day. What is it with me and technology? Why do I find it so difficult? I am going to meditate awhile and will come back to this.
So duh. The internet is a metaphor, a physical incarnation of source. Here we all are expressing ourselves to ourselves and anyone else who cares to listen and read. All knowledge and ideas are being put on the web; we are coming together as a world on the web . No truth goes unnoticed , no good or bad is not video photographed and uploaded and I, who have asked for expansion, complain about the difficulty of my mac and technology in general when all the universe is doing is delivering what I asked for. I get it!! I want to shout it Need to get back those shouting capitals that I couldn't get rid of a minute ago. Ha! I love it!!
So let's see what the cards say. Using Osho Zen Deck
Question: Why do I struggle so with technology?’
The Rebel or the Emperor in other decks
Spirit: Carolyn, you have always been a rebel, always on the fringe as you say, alone, isolated, not getting how to fit in, conform. You have learned as you matured who you are still strafes under rules and structure. Technology is very left brained, based mathematically and you resist this method. You chose a MAC hearing it is more intuitive but because you have figured out the PC Mac is not another language for you but still based on the mathematical equation. There is a process of surrender for you. Remember the purpose of contrast for expansion. The internet will cause to to continue your expansion, as it is speeding up the process for everyone.
How can I grasp it more. I feel like am inferior in some way.
What to keep in mind?
Friendliness - Two trees connecting. Two of cups
See this technology as Source in machine , as friendly, a place I can share my heart. Make friends with it. Duh. I always get the obvious answer. But when I am in resistance...
I will ask for a final word from source about me and computer technology. My website in particular.
Oh, my. Trust A woman is flying!! This is wonderful. I am going to copy this card. for this is my life right now. Free falling in grace. Turning in the love of the universe
Spirit: Carolyn! You are so loved. Open your arms to this opportunity of expression. You the writer, creative compassionate soul who want to give and share and serve. Here is an open forum to reach those who you are meants to reach. There is room for all. Trust that you do have a unique message that needs to be heard. You are correct. Trying to figure this out logically is not for you. You need to feel your way through this. Trust!!
Thank you!!
www.tarotofbecoming
Word of the Day: Joy
I woke up late this morning, berated myself, stumbled around and then sat in meditation and thought of natural disasters; the upcoming 9.5 earthquake that will affect Humboldt County, we just don’t know when. Spent 10 minutes probably ruminating on this; what I would do, how to protect myself, talked to my guides, talked to Gaia. Got all sorts of information that I didn’t believe because I was so not in Well Being. OMG! And I was down on myself because I was down on my self and the vicious circle of circling in my kitchen and nothing gets done and then...
Looking out my kitchen window, I see my next rhododendron in bloom. The one with red blossoms is done and now the pink one with a deep rose center is blooming and I am "OOHH how lucky I am to have this beauty right outside my window." These incredible, passionate blooming trees will survive and suddenly I am in joy, in gratitude. It’s like I finally wake up and can start my day. Choose joy Choose Well being Divert my thoughts. But sometimes the mind is so strong I don’t even remember to think like this. It’s like some other creature has taken over my brain.
Negativity is such an old, old habit. I was listening to New Dimensions the other night on the radio and a doctor scientist was saying that he thought we had evolved as negative beings because the ones that worried, that were always looking for the wolves, the other guy, hoarding their food, were the ones who survived while the happy passive types were eaten. May be true but not needed any more!!!!
So what does the tarot have to say about all this. What is my message from the universe today? And why do I forget to go to my cards when I feel this dark cloud overcoming me!!!
I draw the Hierophant. Message: "Stay contained within the stream emanating from the universal light beings Think vertical instead of in a linear fashion. Think what is rather than what will be. What will be does not exist in light. You are light. Be in you . Use this discipline of light to keep you from leaking into the dark places of what might be. The dark is always available and this is what sends you to the light. So all is good."
Thank you Thank you Thank you
Looking out my kitchen window, I see my next rhododendron in bloom. The one with red blossoms is done and now the pink one with a deep rose center is blooming and I am "OOHH how lucky I am to have this beauty right outside my window." These incredible, passionate blooming trees will survive and suddenly I am in joy, in gratitude. It’s like I finally wake up and can start my day. Choose joy Choose Well being Divert my thoughts. But sometimes the mind is so strong I don’t even remember to think like this. It’s like some other creature has taken over my brain.
Negativity is such an old, old habit. I was listening to New Dimensions the other night on the radio and a doctor scientist was saying that he thought we had evolved as negative beings because the ones that worried, that were always looking for the wolves, the other guy, hoarding their food, were the ones who survived while the happy passive types were eaten. May be true but not needed any more!!!!
So what does the tarot have to say about all this. What is my message from the universe today? And why do I forget to go to my cards when I feel this dark cloud overcoming me!!!
I draw the Hierophant. Message: "Stay contained within the stream emanating from the universal light beings Think vertical instead of in a linear fashion. Think what is rather than what will be. What will be does not exist in light. You are light. Be in you . Use this discipline of light to keep you from leaking into the dark places of what might be. The dark is always available and this is what sends you to the light. So all is good."
Thank you Thank you Thank you
Path of the Evolutionary April 30, 2010
Determined to get an entry in April, I want share the changes I am experiences with how I look at the path of tarot these days.
, I have found a name for what I am doing, a name for the voice within that drives me forward, My Fool: the evolutionary impulse. TaDa!!!! And what the hell does that mean? though many of you may say, “Well, duh!” It’s the Fool that impulsively leaps off the cliff! Pulled by this urge to evolve... But what has happened for me is that I am getting this on a much clearer basis. I have been giving the words I longed for to describe what I believe I truly am: a being on the evolutionary edge of the ever expanding consciousness we call God, Source, the Mystery, the Great Spirit; that you and I are a product of Curiosity, of Will, of Desire, the end product of an awakening of Source long ago, a vast Energy driven to experience on an ever faster, more expansive level ever since the Big Bang. The most amazing aspect of all this is that we are now at the point where many of us have become aware that this is who we are and now realize we can actually steer this energy into a positive direction because we are this energy, as an individual, a tiny speck, but if all the tiny specks awaken to the same idea????
Is this arrogance?? I think not. It would be arrogant to think that we actually were separate from the vast energy surrounding us, arrogant to think we are living a separate life from the rest of the universe and from every living being on earth. One cannot be arrogant and be the evolutionary impulse. Arrogance is only the ego living in fear. When you start to think this big... well I will stop here because... because... I just have to take the time to let this concept pervade my thinking and see what happens.
, I have found a name for what I am doing, a name for the voice within that drives me forward, My Fool: the evolutionary impulse. TaDa!!!! And what the hell does that mean? though many of you may say, “Well, duh!” It’s the Fool that impulsively leaps off the cliff! Pulled by this urge to evolve... But what has happened for me is that I am getting this on a much clearer basis. I have been giving the words I longed for to describe what I believe I truly am: a being on the evolutionary edge of the ever expanding consciousness we call God, Source, the Mystery, the Great Spirit; that you and I are a product of Curiosity, of Will, of Desire, the end product of an awakening of Source long ago, a vast Energy driven to experience on an ever faster, more expansive level ever since the Big Bang. The most amazing aspect of all this is that we are now at the point where many of us have become aware that this is who we are and now realize we can actually steer this energy into a positive direction because we are this energy, as an individual, a tiny speck, but if all the tiny specks awaken to the same idea????
Is this arrogance?? I think not. It would be arrogant to think that we actually were separate from the vast energy surrounding us, arrogant to think we are living a separate life from the rest of the universe and from every living being on earth. One cannot be arrogant and be the evolutionary impulse. Arrogance is only the ego living in fear. When you start to think this big... well I will stop here because... because... I just have to take the time to let this concept pervade my thinking and see what happens.
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