I have been thinking a lot about the Chariot visualization I did with my tarot class this last week. The best part of teaching is what one learns in the process. Every week I get to experience a tarot card in depth and live in it as I take my students into its magical message. The Chariot lesson contains a reading and a visualization that has stuck with me all week.
The reading is based on the images of the Waite/Smith card with the cards laid out to look like the card.
Two cards represent the horses, the opposing forces of masculine and feminine in your life that need to work in tandem to move you forward to your goals.
One card represents the chariot, your personality, human structure/ego
On top of this card is the a card representing the charioteer, your true self or soul energy
On top of this card is a card representing the armor that all the charioteers wear, your strength
At the top of the image is a card which represents the canopy, your magic, Divine protection.
After looking briefly at the image created, I then took my students and myself on a guided meditation.
Later I heard about my student’s journeys full of light and magical happy images. I, on the other hand, almost killed myself As I sank into my meditative state I could feel my tension. I was Ben Hur at the chariot races and as soon as I instructed my students to allow their chariot to move, I found myself cracking a huge whip. sending my horses into a frenzy. I was horrified. The major idea behind the chariot is your forward movement comes by your will not by thrashing yourself. I told my students to observe what they saw on their journey but as I sent my horses forward, we became a fiery blur and I saw nothing as I hurled myself towards a blinding light, flying into some sort of fiery future totally out of control. As we began to disintegrate I realized the error of my ways, tried to stop and found myself swimming in an ocean, my horse’s heads barely out of the water with the knowledge that we were going to drown, that I could not do this, So I let go. I allowed myself to surrender, slowly sinking until I found myself walking along a lovely country road, the sun shining, my horses walking on either side of me willingly, without whips. I walked in peace as I savored my journey, enjoying the scenery and yes, I get the message. And oh, this is so hard for me. To allow the pleasure of surrender. Yes, I need to evolve, to bring more love to myself and the world but I need to allow it, to trust that I am on my way. I don’t have to rush there. The road stretches ahead and if I choose this journey towards light, to the multi-dimensional being that I am, it can be a delightful discovery of each flower, bird and person I meet along the way. This week as I find myself pushing or denigrating myself for not doing enough, I take myself this on this lovely walk with myself. No personality, just myself walking in tandem with my masculine, my feminine in wholeness, in time. I have the time to bring in light, just by simply living in love, spreading it within myself and everywhere I go.